Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Volume II - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a historian - seems that job is simple enough - kind of like writing a blog - just throw some crazy information down and call it history - doesn't really seem to matter if it is correct or not just seems to matter if anyone believes it - oh, and the crazier the better in some cases - yes, I said some historical accounts are crazy, but that seems to be the way of the wildwood weed - anyway, time to see if I can spin some craziness into current affairs that will be crazy history soon, any suggestions?
Thank you for the applause - I know it has been ages since we journeyed down this rambling path of madness - seems to be a theme going on here - craziness and madness - love it, love it - but as with all things love it is ok to step away for awhile and savor the embrace upon return - oh, did that just come from these fingers hitting the keyboard or was it one of those "if you give a thousand monkeys typewriters and enough time one of them will be named Bill" type of moments - not really sure if that is how the analogy goes but it is 64% there - I said analogy - he he he - anyway back to why I have not posted a blog for such a long time - called laziness and a general dispute going on within myself as to whether I should create a serious blog outlining current events and really delve into the hard hitting issues of the day - nah, what a load, it was all laziness, anyway...
So, what has everyone been doing since our last encounter? Rhetorical question as you may know... don't really want to know what you have been doing, not sure why I asked, as with most things on here, not sure why - this time of year is interesting, in a Keystone Kops kind of manner with the mid-term elections coming up - for those of you not familiar with Keystone Kops please investigate and then let me know also, pretty sure it is a breakfast cereal, or is that Kaptain Krunch I am thinking about? Love the peanut butter Kaptain Krunch, has to be in the milk just long enough to lose some crunchiness but not too long that it gets too soggy, a real science to eating it - so, mid term elections - a guy dresses like a Nazi, a lady is a witch or used to be a witch, book burnings, signing oaths of allegiance, the Alaska lady still around - still sticking to the theme of craziness - and yet with all this fun I really haven't heard any sane solutions to more pressing problems like jobs, health care, world conflict - oh did I say sane, that is a prize not allowed in cereal boxes anymore, after the choking incident on Capitol Hill - a bill was passed the very next day! Did anyone else see the ad for a local candidate stating " A man for our times " - the candidate is sitting on a horse and he is wearing old western cowboy attire - is that our times? riding horses? dressed like it was 1870? or is it some kind of subtle suggestion of the future if this candidate is elected, I will drag you back to the oldy times, sonny - more likely an unfortunate choice of words and picture, unfortunate, unfortunate.
As it turned out, our schedules were such that I was able to have lunch with Big Larry and Hambone, dispelling the myth and rumors that I am all three characters and only make stuff up about the other two in order to write down funny and witty things in this blog, thus taking up word count and fulfilling my writing contract so I can collect my checks - completely untrue, nothing funny or witty about any of this - Big Larry and Hambone are real people, ask the waitress where we had lunch, you can find her name on the police report - it was nice to get together with the boys and catch up on what each of us has been doing for the past few months - seems Hambone has been working a little for the dairy again, he thinks the owner has dementia and if Hambone gives him a different name each time the owner doesn't remember the whole truck, cow, milking machine, Fourth of July incident - nothing too much happening with Big Larry - he seemed content and happy with his life, says he thinks planting a few flowers this summer around his camper helped with his general and overall outlook on life - more likely it was the Robutussin D he drank earlier that day - seems he has a cough and the 'tussin' helps with his general and overall outlook on life - the lunch went ok until Big Larry and Hambone started the age old argument of whether man actually landed on the moon or if it was all staged on a Hollywood set - seems Hambone saw some old movie about this and was confused that it wasn't a documentary - Big Larry took offense to the questioning of NASA and somewhere between club sandwich, fries and "Regular Coke" the police were called, court dates, apologizing to chain restaurant, we never did come to a definitive conclusion to the discussion of the moon landing - maybe next time.
It is a project of great magnitude and importance. Only the most gifted and capable are invited to take place in the project. The importance could not be described and highlighted enough. A favorable outcome and conclusion to the project would mean so much to so many. Preparation has taken months and the thought going into this project has been detailed. The start date for the project has been set. Good luck to all!
What color do the leaves of your tree turn in the fall? Bye green Bye!!!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - Just another day in the life of the guy standing by the road with $5 dollar pizza sign - dancing to the silent tunes within my mind - if the truth be known I have to take a wicked piss and don't get a break for another 40 minutes - so if I don't dance and move around I will end up soakin' the Hanes - can't wait until I am not the new guy anymore and I can start learning the sweet art of creating the pizza pie- life will be good!!!
Started the day like most Mondays - wondering what I did to deserve the nerve torture of the radio alarm clock - before the alarm clock or other devices how did our ancestors get up in time to go to work - I probably would have missed about half the work day start times by sleeping in - didn't the Flintstones have a bird or something for an alarm clock? Maybe that is how our ancestors did it - or maybe that is why none of my ancestors were rich - they slept in and missed the gold rush or something - I'll sleep just a few more minutes and then go drill that oil well - oops, noon already - maybe tomorrow - oh, well - money just causes other problems that having no money doesn't understand - stupid thought anyway.
Wow - first entry since my trial probation from the blog sight - actually second time I have been banned from blogging - seems there is a rule against being a madman and a second rule against being a rambling american - so combine all of those things and I was breaking like 2 rules squared which is 70 or something - check the math - anyway rules are rules and I seem to be skirting the fringes of craziness here - guess it has to do with some decoder of madness - good luck with that.
Did you see the news today? Me either - if you hear of anything more important than some hack actress going to jail let me know - oh, you are right - that was so last month - how about sports figures in the news - did you hear about the golf guy? - and does anyone feel sorry? - he only putts well when he is nailing 'em at the pancake house - or something like that.
Big Larry has turned over a new leaf - he has found God - actually Big Larry found out that the local revival roll in the aisles church serves a mean dinner every Wednesday night - all you have to do is sit through an hour of the good word and then they feed you up with a big ol' ham or turkey dinner - says it is just like the Sunday dinners his mother used to make except his mother could never get the lumps out of the gravy - like that ever mattered to Big Larry - I think he just heard that somewhere - anyway, as long as the dinners keep comin' Big Larry will be there every week - they asked if he could sit out in the hall during the sermon because he snores too loud and not to bring the nudie magazines to read in the can after dinner - seems the ladies got a little upset - right, ever been in the can after Big Larry? anyway...
They stepped off the boat to the solid ground that would be their new land, wondering all the while how fortunate could a group of people be to have made it this far, the future was ahead...
Did you see the double rainbow? Bye wee Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - the drug dealers finally let her go - not that she was being held against her will but they were drug dealers and she was who she was - it might have been the change between dealing different white powders - some white powders just shouldn't be legal - it was time to cut her loose - the drug dealers finally let her go.

Mickey Mouse said to Goofy "What kind of a name is Goofy?" and then they started wrestling around in the backyard - god I don't want to see that - two cartoon characters wrestling in your backyard - Jesus!

Funniest thing I have see lately is a guy dressed in a powder blue tuxedo walking around a casino - oh wait, that was me - I saw my reflection in the big mirror by the $5 dollar slot machine - I think the white shoes add a real comic touch - I mean classy touch.

There is a fine line between reality and not reality - would it be wrong to cross back and forth over that line? - someone asked the other day if I was completely insane - what is completely? - just hanging on to the edge of some kind of reason - stopping now and then to check the time and the posted speed limit - crap, time to speed up before I get run over by the thoughts in the little white Volkswagen bug.

Do you read the restaurant critics column in the local paper? - seriously, someone goes to restaurants and then writes about their experience and the food? - do they get paid to do that? hmmm....

If you were electricity and you traveled to a light bulb and generated light what happens to you after that? Do you just float around in the air? Do you go back to the electricity warehouse? Is there an electrician that can answer my inquiry?

Stepping into the light...stepping into the light...stepping...

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - so this is the point in which I say "just another day in the life of..." and I describe some activity of a profession in which I know nothing about but pretend it is an exciting and meaningful livelihood - so take a minute and think of some job or career in which you know nothing about but can describe only vaguely with almost no knowledge and I will meet you back here... anyway.

And so this is the time in which I write "Started the day as usual..." and I talk about how it takes a liter of coffee to get my heart and nervous system at the right tempo and then blabber on about how my day was... crap this is so predictable... blah, blah, blah, blah blah... your turn to tell me of your day and the predictable crap you do everyday... never mind, I don't give a shit ... so, anyway.

In this area I might talk about current events ... but most of the time I don't really follow the news or any current topics so I usually spend fifty or so words telling you that I don't know what is new or have any idea what is going on outside of my eyesight... How did the Presidential election turn out? Just joking you know...

Here I would tell you the latest about my friends Big Larry and Hambone... best friends a guy could have... interesting tales of daring and adventure each week... bastard Big Larry won't call me back... owes me a hundred dollars because I paid to get his propane tanks filled so he wouldn't freeze in his camper... thinks I will forget if he doesn't call me for a couple of weeks... I won't forget but am realistic about ever seeing the cash...bastard anyway.

Now for some poetic rambling... oh, hell... who am I kidding... the juices weren't flowing... the brain not sending out the vibes or whatever brains send out... time for some Bukowski ... Hunter S. stay right there let me catch up... anyway, anyway...

May the fish that swims up your leg be forever! Bye koi Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a guy starting out in the grocery business - willing and eager to learn the business from the ground up - all aspects of the retail grocery business, from bagging groceries at check out, to stocking shelves with canned goods, to understanding the expiration dates on dairy products - Jesus there is a lot to learn - I forgot to ask about breaks and lunch - does this company have a health insurance plan? - I need to take next Wednesday off to get in line for the concert tickets - hope that isn't a problem - do employees get a discount on purchases - geez, don't get pissy, I just ate a candy bar that fell on the floor, can't sell damaged goods - anyway.

Due to technical difficulties this blog has been unable to post in the past couple of weeks. Not really anyones fault just an old dude that isn't totally clear on current high tech stuff like batteries and so forth, but the ole blog is back up and functioning with it's normal amount of logic and good sense. Thanks to the hundreds of e-mails and inquiries as to why the blog was off line. Sorry if I didn't directly respond to each one but it makes my heart warm to think that so many people look forward to this bit of jumbled up letters and not so many proper punctuation marks and really bad grammar and general dribble put forth - actually makes me wonder what the hell?

Can not go another step without paying tribute to a long time fixture in the extended family. After 30 some years it was time to say goodbye to the monument of casual seating that had been so key to one family and the community they lived in - the memory will linger, generations will remember - so long multi-faceted furniture, not really a bed, not really a chair but cherished by young and old alike - those who know, know - those that don't know, well probably were drunk and slept on it at one time or another - parents have taken their children by to show them the very spot of conception - another legacy passes and a legend lives on in the stories - a grand final farewell to the Poof Pillow.

If anyone has seen Big Larry or Hambone lately please let me know - I shouldn't worry when I don't see or hear from them in awhile but past history of extended absences has not been very good. I should put aside some money because one or both will need to borrow some to get them back on track - like new shoes - how do two guys lose so many shoes - I don't think they are in jail because I would have heard right away - Hambone would want a little extra cash for the jail canteen because they have the brand of spicy cheetos he claims he can only get there - let me know if you see or hear from them - high top white Adidas running shoes are on sale now.

It would be a largely different world if man could fly like a bird - a thought I have expressed before - what would we have and what would we not need - consider the infrastructure - would housing be different - cars, planes, motorcycles, would they even be a thought - the world would be a different place if man could fly like a bird.

What is your favorite song lyric of the day? Bye note Bye!!!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of a American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of one guy doing his civil best to save the planet - that's right folks, it is Earth Day and we should all join hands in saving this great planet that we live on - make a righteous effort to clean up what scars we have inflicted on this life sustaining hunk of rock we call home - who the hell am I kidding - I don't even freakin' recycle - yes, my one man recycling company lasted about four days and I got a rash on the inside of my thighs from the cheap ass bicycle seat - I had a flat tire about two miles from my house and a half a bag of soda and beer cans worth about 75 cents and I said screw this, threw the bag of cans in someones back yard and called for a ride home - freakin' recycling is hard - anyway, happy Earth Day!

Started the day on a set routine - dragging my sorry self out of bed with only minutes to spare - hoping the second hand coffee maker from Goodwill fires up - don't be a Goodwill hater, I have bought some very nice plastic dishes from there that have lasted years - they knew how to make plastic dishes in the 50's and 60's - the coffee maker did not fail me this morning and I was treated to 12 cups of the most beautiful liquid this side of mercury and not quite as toxic - although I make some pretty strong coffee it has never caused any environmental disasters that I am aware of - sure as hell gets you going but is earth friendly, keeping the thread of Earth Day going - work was good - evening was delightful - nice little walk in the wind - just an all around good day for people and the Earth.

There will be no news reported here today - I have no good reason for reporting anything new and besides I have nothing new to report - don't you wish that some newscaster would come on the air and say "Sorry folks but there is just not a damn thing going on that is of any interest today and I am not going to fill up air time with stupid ass stories that no one cares about anyway, so for the next thirty minutes let's listen to some classic rock and roll and chill out!" Now that would be a newscast - or a non newscast - anyway, I have no news today.

Hambone is back working again - his old boss from the dairy farm needed someone to drive a truck for a few days - not sure what kind of truck or what he is actually doing but he didn't get off to a great start - his first day he slept in, said his alarm clock didn't go off - actually Hambone hasn't had an alarm clock for years but he didn't want to tell his boss that he got drunk the night before and lost his boot and it took him awhile to find it and that is why he was late - Big Larry and Hambone seem to have a problem with losing footwear and alcohol - the next night Hambone slept with his boots on so as not to be late for work.

I have been obsessed with rain gutters lately. Need to keep them cleaned. Need to have a rain gutter where there is no rain gutter now. Strategically plan where the water from the gutter will go. I have been thinking too much of rain gutters lately.

Wow, dig that crazy monkey dancing with that whacked out cat - Bye froth Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a major league baseball umpire - crouched down behind home plate and the catcher - watching the baseball speed in from the pitcher - making split second decisions of the placement of the ball as it travels at you - Strike? Ball? - really should get over that fear of getting hit by the pitch - bad habit of closing my eyes at the last second - crap, over half of the calls are pure guesses - maybe I should have been a basketball ref, naw, too much running - wonder if dancing with the stars needs a judge - anyway.

Started the day like most - pouring generous amounts of my favorite liquid straight down my throat - no, not Crown Royal, had to give that up for the betterment of society - I am talking about coffee - and this week our household has been blessed (not like a religious thing) with visitors that are real and truly coffee masters - talk has been of all things coffee - grand time, just grand, thanks T and J! The day progressed along the new reality that is work now - thoughts are moving from work to a long weekend with a promise of great weather - it is all relative though and strictly personal - nice weather to one may not be to another - the same goes for most of life and most of life's situations - take for example - what I consider as a nice evening spent with a good book and a 12 volt battery charger someone else may consider that too tame - had to give up actual flames due to insurance reasons - Allstate has no sense of adventure - besides the battery charger was on sale at Sears for $49.95 and will charge a battery as well!

Yes, I know, I should address my absence from the blogging world - please don't call as my answering machine is full - email if you must but I may not get around to answering all of the questions about my where abouts and how come no new blogs have been submitted for an extended period - let's just say that when the time is right and my attorney allows me to make a statement the mystery will be cleared up - for now I have been advised to not comment about political issues and will not mention Sarah Palin's body parts for fear of having my computer put out of commission by the web monitors - they watch, you know they do!

Big Larry is enjoying the change in weather - he wants to break out his summer Tshirts but is afraid it might be a bit too early - besides, changing from winter to summer wardrobe would require a bath or shower and he just recovered from the soap rash he received when he took his New Year's bath - actually the doctor at the free clinic said the rash may have been transmitted in other fashions and four doses of penicillin finally cleared it up - still, a bath now would throw off his schedule.

The devil speaks in whispered tones, not listening to the response but demanding attention and wanting action. No one will deny a request but few will be able to complete the task. The lucky few will only by degrees receive any comfort. The devil speaks in whispered tones.

This message has been sponsored by a little old lady who only drove her car to church and back...Bye vroom Bye!

Ramblings of and American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of the guy that hides the Easter eggs each year - kind of like Santa but with eggs and I don't have to go down chimneys - only employed one day a year but it is a hectic time hiding all of those eggs - sometimes you have to be creative so as not to be so obvious - an egg behind a clump of grass, one next to the clay planter, another at the base of a tree - seems the Northern California marijuana growers don't believe in the Easter Bunny - been shot at a couple of times for trying to hide eggs in the pot plants - Just doing my job here Mr. Pot Farmer - don't want any of your killer green buds - let me hide a few eggs and I will be on my way - anyway!

Started the day as usual - a fine concoction of a beautiful dark caffeine laced lovely liquid to start the morning off right - a full morning of catching up on the news via our local Sunday newspaper - have you noticed the newspaper getting smaller in size - pretty soon you will be able to put it in your shirt pocket - I do like reading the paper though - kind of wish there were some competing dailies - I hear in some civilized communities there are actually several different sources of printed news - must be civilized - love Boise Weekly - a breath of fresh air in a conservative box - wouldn't it be nice to just write stuff as it comes to you and not have someone judge the results - oh, right, tee hee hee - I am often asked why I don't put a few pictures in my blog space - like what? - freakin' flowers or something - you want pictures go to a picture sight thing - you want a hamburger go to a hamburger place thing - you want pickles open up a pickle jar thingy - you want stupid words from a mumbling rambling under educated dude that can barely turn on a computer and hit a few buttons and make black characters on a white screen... damn ... lost my train of thought there, oh right, get a dog!



Hambone is back from another adventure - seems he has been in Nevada for the last few weeks just traveling around trying to catch up with Sarah Palin and her stops and speeches - Hambone is a big fan of gun shows and when he heard Sarah Palin was signing autographs at gun shows in Nevada he packed up the Chevy - yes, Big Larry and Hambone do not see eye to eye on automobiles - many a drunk night they have almost come to blows over Ford versus Chevy - Big Larry's dad was a Ford man and by god Big Larry is a Ford man - Hambone didn't know his dad but thinks he may have driven a Chrysler - anyway Hambone packed up the Chevy and made it to some little Nevada gun show where Gov. Palin was signing autographs - seems she was charging $20 bucks for an autograph but you had to buy her book first which was $20 so just to get in line to see her it was $40 - Hambone said for $40 bucks she should at least flash her bazooka's - after all it was a gun show - not sure what Hambone did the remainder of the time in Nevada.

The feathers on the side of the road would indicate some kind of bird - a few feet down the road were the remains of someones shredded tire - a few feet further was a one liter soda bottle filled with a dull yellow liquid, but the feathers on the side of the road would indicate some kind of bird.

And the man said unto his followers! "Quit following me or I will call the cops!" - Bye gold Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a psychologist - the patients today ranged from a housewife who is feeling a bit down because the carpet in her third floor family room seems to have faded from the constant exposure of natural light through the floor to ceiling windows, we discussed how it made her feel and what the effect would be if maybe the windows were curtained for a part of the day - to a patient who periodically writes entries into a blog that has become smashingly popular and the fame and glory have changed him into someone his friends do not recognize anymore, he wants to discuss how to tell his friends to "suck it" because he likes the fame and fortune - psychiatrist or psychologist? which one can prescribe a nice after dinner pharmaceutical? anyway.

Another lovely day in the land known as "world's most conservative state" - seem to be having that discussion with several people lately - not too bad for weather here though - maybe nature is rewarding the conservative populace with mildness - keep that in mind next time a part of the country has a blinding blizzard or raging flood, check their politics - started the day as usual, life in the fast lane, wake and work, this rock star life style will soon wear on a soul - enjoyable evening with favorite group - today is a special persons birthday - not special Olympics type of special but special because he is a great person and treats his uncle well - you know who you are - what up Cincinnati? - readers love me in Cincinnati - speaking of reading - in my newest issue of Psychology Today ($5.95 newsstand price but I get 10 issues a year for just $18, a savings of ...) there is a case of a guy, we will call him dude, that was obsessed with surgically removing parts of his body, he couldn't find a surgeon to do the procedures (an insurance issue I am sure) so he started hacking off body parts himself - didn't plan it too well though, once he had cut both his arms off he couldn't hold the instruments to cut other parts of his body off - wait a minute - I need to re-read that story.

Speaking of insurance, Big Larry is mad as hell about the Health Care law that was just signed - he thinks it will drive up his taxes and force him to buy insurance he doesn't want - no government is going to mandate or force something on him - ok Big Larry, please tell me the last time you even paid any kind of tax besides sales tax on beer and cigarettes - and as for insurance, you don't even insure that old pickup you drive, let alone have legitimate plates or registration - I am pretty sure this Health Care plan is not really going to have a big impact on your freedoms - remember that next time you step on a nail and need to go to the emergency room but can't pay for it and give them a false name - and I think they are getting wise to the alias 'Mike Hunt".

The flower was strickingly out of place. Such an elegant and exotic flower growing just above eye level in the century old fir tree. It raised so many questions of how and why, yet the contrast of color and tree bark was almost enough of an answer. So different yet still growing in each others presence, perhaps a lesson for the beholders. The old fir tree was strickingly out of place.

If I told you once, I told you twice... Bye deep Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of the guy who cleans the Blarney Stone each evening after closing time - each day about a thousand people kiss the Blarney Stone and it must be cleaned to keep it fresh for the next batch of tourists to come along and kiss it - to kiss the Blarney Stone means you will attain the gift of Blarney - a gift of talking I guess, or as we Americans would say "a gift of BS" - oh, just noticed, BS could stand for B--l S--t or Blarney Stone, a coincidence? Anyway.

Started the day with a stiff Irish coffee - notice the theme today - St. Patrick's Day! - a day to celebrate all that is Irish - actually didn't St. Patrick drive the snakes out of Ireland or something - good a reason as any to have a celebration - drink green beer, eat corned beef and cabbage, wear a funny green hat, oh the Irish are a fun bunch - what is with the leprechauns though? - is anyone else kind of creeped out by them - yellow moons, green clovers, pink hearts - or is that a cereal? oh, Lucky Charms - keep getting that and the rabbit cereal mixed up - Trix are for kids? Wow!

Not too much going on in the world right now - at least as far as I can see from where I am standing - seems the lawmakers are in full throttle now - is it too much to ask them just to take care of maintenance items and then go home? - but no, there are some funny new laws coming up that I am not sure how we ever survived without them - life as we know it will grind into anarchy if this particular new law is not acted upon right now - are they just trying to justify being there - is this little law representative of what the people in their district elected them for or is it some outside interest pushing the agenda? Oh, what the hell - the session will be over soon and I can go back to wearing jeans on Friday.

Hambone is a little upset that he didn't receive a census form - we tried to tell him that the forms were sent to a residence - house, apartment or mobile home - someplace with an actual mailing address - Hambone has been avoiding a mailing address for years and is now upset because he is afraid he won't be counted in the census - we suggested that maybe his sister-in-law will count him on her form as he does stay in her tool shed from time to time - I am not really sure she is his sister-in-law but that is what he calls her and he admits that relationships are a bit fuzzy these days - anyway, the tool shed is dry and an air mattress with five sleeping bags works - the census form calls for names and birth dates, Hambone will have to make some calls.

Nothing like driving on a long road trip with six Led Zeppelin CD's for your listening pleasure - maybe throw in a Rage Against the Machine album just to stir it up - oh, and you must have a Kid Rock album to show you are diverse - Led Zeppelin for sure though!

The castle just outside of Dublin had not been lived in for over 100 years yet stood mostly intact with only a few minor defects - try to find a building in your area 100 years old - Bye Irish Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a guy writing a blog while sitting on his bed - laptop planted firmly on the cushioned little lap pad thingy - humidifier going in the background - only a bedside lamp to illuminate the space - only the dim bulb of my mind to illuminate the imagination - Yes, folks, this is how I make my living - writing a periodic blog filled with chunky chewy goodness for the masses to snack on - I get paid by the quantity of words and not the value or meaning - hush my critic hush - don't be jealous of my riches and fame - and so goes a day in the life of a guy writing a blog. Anyway.

How did your day start? Mine started as any number of days start - floating on a smoke filled haze of dreaminess and trying to quickly chase it away with volumes of caffeinated liquid - one last taste of the bitter loveliness before exploding on to the scene - not a bad day - I am not sure I want to have "not bad days" - how about good days or great days - need more of those - anyway, made it through the day - such is the life of a working man - home, a little dinner and relaxing, reading, good book now about an Irishman that comes to the US in the 1980's - I may have asked this before but does anyone know of a good artist to design a tattoo - email me!

I did happen to catch a little news today - sorry, no fancy introductions or banners exclaiming breaking news - I guess there is something happening in China - wish I could remember what it was - saw a bunch of Chinese standing around a panda bear - maybe that was a blooper show that was on - seemed like a news show - hell, who am I kidding, I watched about ten minutes of a college basketball game - no damn news - the guys in the light blue uniforms were ahead last I saw.

Oh,Oh,Oh - the race for governor is heating up - I think there are about four serious candidates now - love the political races - heck, I am seriously thinking of running for President of the United States - how do you go about getting started with something like that? - I have no illusions of actually winning but think it would be cool to be a Presidential candidate - I have mentioned it before - maybe I could debate some of the other candidates - my only remark throughout the debate would be "I am a servant to the people, the people must guide the servant!" - at least I would have a few minutes in the spotlight - aren't you glad to know me?

Hambone has this new habit of saying 'WTF?' during a conversation. I had to ask him if he knew what 'WTF?' stood for and of course he didn't - he read it in a reply to an email he had sent a new friend he met online - seems his new friend is a 47 year old guy using the name 'SadMary' in a chat room and I guess Hambone didn't know it was a guy - anyway, Hambone made some suggestions as to how he could make 'SadMary' happy and that is where he first saw 'WTF?' in a reply - 'SadMary' still writes to Hambone on occasion - strange world we live in.

I was thinking about this today - has there ever been a home built in which a nail went unbent? - something to ponder - yes, ponder - Bye spot Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a foreign entertainer in a strange land - the entertainment being magic and the strange land being any place not of my homeland - not just any magic either - this magic is the most obvious of the secret arts - almost to the point of comedy but deadly serious - especially when the whole dove in the lining of my tuxedo trick goes wrong - for good reason you shouldn't feed doves the same food you eat - cheap chili out of a can turns a dove into a fire hose of nastiness - and inside your coat in front of an audience is a freaking nightmare - good laughs though - shot the tuxedo all to hell - the dry cleaner told me to leave, now! Anyway!

Started the day as usual - swilling the coffee until first one eye opens and then the other - rockin' an Italian Roast now - not too bad, thanks Tyler - wasn't sure I would fancy the Italian but what the hell I'll give it a go - Day proceeded at a lovely but not too hasty pace - time of turmoil and upheaval for some employed but must be thankful for a position of earning - keep telling myself that - sometimes find the routine, in the words of a favorite cartoon character "soul crushing" but I guess it beats not eating - not a funny. Lovely evening passed by finishing a book I have been grinding through for some time - love the historic biography, especially when it includes detail of old England and London - I think I was born in the wrong country, maybe I was meant to be English or English Canadian, ha ha ha or English Idahoan, more likely that - what is wrong? did I offend? take a breath Bart, count to ten and then recite the ABC's - OK, relax, relax.

This just in from News Central, High atop the media center in downtown metropolis - you would think after an intro like that I would have some breaking news of great importance - actually I kind of forgot to watch or listen to any news - please let me know if anything important happened in the world today - And This Has Been An Update From Your News Eye In the Sky!

Big Larry is somewhat upset - he has been watching some food shows and got a great idea to put beer and whole tomatoes in a blender to make red beer - but the blender didn't have all the parts and leaked beer almost as fast as Big Larry poured it in - and Big Larry hates to waste beer - he also didn't want to buy tomatoes so he used packets of ketchup he pocketed from the Stage Stop - must have been quite a sight to see Big Larry blending beer and ketchup in his yard sale blender then sucking up the puddles of red beer from the camper floor and counter top - he wasn't so upset that he had to drink beer off the floor, he has done that before, but that he spent 75 cents on the blender only to find out it leaked - but in the end Big Larry figures this is how the great TV chefs got their start - probably, probably.

The face shouldn't have been there - not that it couldn't be, but it shouldn't have - what would the story be? Why now? Happy, confused, time passed, life happened. Too many questions, confusion, joy, uncertainty. What could the story be? The face shouldn't have been there.

Did you find your way home or did you stray into life? Bye gambler Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a one man recycling effort - actually that is the name of my new endeavor "One Man Recycling Effort" - now that the price of aluminum is up and everyone has great big recycling bins sitting out in front of their homes I figured I would take advantage of the craze, jump on the band wagon and start my new business - recycling - so I bought an adult three wheel cycle - guess it's not a bicycle if it has three wheels -tricycle - why do they call them bicycles if there is a different style for male and female - anyway - so my new business started last week, my new tricycle and a big basket on the back - also some big black plastic bags - now I spend my days pedaling all over the valley picking up cans along side the road and turning them in for cash - this has been a benefit in multiple ways - good exercise and good for the environment - now if the price of aluminum reaches about $500 a pound I might even make enough to give up my other job of digging ditches - anyway.
So, the day started like most all days - sunshine in the window, sunshine in my heart - big slog of coffee in my gullet - oh, speaking of coffee, I have been introduced to a new grass roots political movement called of all things, Coffee Party Movement - love it, I hope a local chapter starts up soon here because I would have coffee with them and listen to the caffeine induced political rambling - love it - anything to do with coffee and sitting drinking coffee sounds like a good idea - wonder if they need some coffee - I could supply a pound or two of some good beans - thanks to Tyler, my favorite nephew - anyway - good day - nothing too extraordinary to proclaim - weather seems to be changing a bit - love the Spring - guess I have already expressed that fact - anyway.
This just in from high atop news central - the two remaining jailed missionaries in Haiti sent an urgent request to the Haitian judge asking for immediate release from jail as their services are now needed in Chile after the devastating earthquake there - stay tuned for updates on breaking news!
Seems Hambone is in a bit of a mess with his new girlfriends mother - actually he dated the Mother before dating the daughter and borrowed some money from the Mother while he was dating her - now he is trying to borrow a few dollars from the daughter to pay back the Mother but the daughter said she would have to borrow money from the Mother to lend to Hambone to pay back the money he borrowed from the Mother while he was dating her - or something like that - anyway, the Mother kind of misses Hambone, I think.

There once was a lad named Turkin'
Whose gerkin he paid for a workin'
He picked up a bug
Had to shave off his rug
Now young Turkin' is wearing a murkin!

Stay Classy Canadians, for Hockey is Canada and Canada is Hockey! Bye Gold Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a prehistoric caveman - wandering the country side looking for berries and hunting small game for dinner - I guess cavemen called it dinner - maybe they just called it "ugh" - anyway, on this day the wheel was invented - eventually to be developed into those cool cars Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble drove - the good old days when your feet where the brakes - bet Toyota wishes they had good brakes like that - get too fancy with the technology and stuff can go wrong - just ask Wilma after that new garbage disposal prehistoric hog chased her around the kitchen when she tried to put the brontosaurus bones in - pissed right off he was - the old garbage disposal hog never minded - happy to have the work - anyway, yeah well, anyway...

Started the day like most - tell me how you start your day? Coffee, a little bran fiber, maybe some fruit? Jim Beam? Wake and bake? Whatever gets you through the morning, that's cool, that's cool - afternoon weather pretty nice today - I noticed some bulbs starting to break through the soil - good sign - Me Loves The Spring - title to my new song - will debut on American Idol at the end of this season - it's a song about Love and Spring, oh and it is about how I love Spring - a song about that - pretty uneventful day - work, home, dinner or sometimes I call it "Ugh" - you know like the caveman - never mind - a little reading and now some deep thinking - just joking ya!

Johnny on the spot with today's news and tomorrow's headlines - actually probably already headlines - kind of think that is where I saw them but none the less - News! Feds deny funding for downtown Boise trolley car fantasy - good, give up the stupid idea now - eight of the Haitian missionaries detained for trafficking children are released and within 48 hours of their release one of them will talk on the Oprah show, unfreaking believable - Tiger to make an announcement about something or other tomorrow - and some other news that escapes me at the moment, oh right, Olympics!

Big Larry said it is time to relocate his camper - he figures he has been rooted in one place too long because his mail is starting to be delivered to his camper - not sure how that works - it's a pickup camper hauled off in the weeds behind the Stage Stop - anyway he said the government found him and is sending him bills for his old student loans - he always told us he was only 3 credits away from a BS degree - we would tell him he had a PhD in BS - that joke never gets old!

The blind man stood on the edge of the cliff listening for the sounds of the little town below to reach him on the warmth of the afternoon breezes! Bye did Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of an American madman - oh, probably not the definition of madman you would typically use, but this madman spends time drinking coffee, feeding the birds, laughing at humanity, laughing at himself, grinding out the thoughts that contribute to the madness, not mad in a sense of anger, or even mad in the sense of crazy or insane, but mad as in... oh, hell if I knew what I was writing about I probably would have been to the point by now - mad, crazy, insane, angry, happy, numbly eccentric, yes I like that - what would you call someone wearing Stewie flannel pants, Brunner's Construction long sleeve shirt and a beanie from the Saskatoon Hilltops? Although I guess if I recognize my condition I probably am OK? Right? Soooooooo.... how was your day?

Started the day with, oh I don't know, coffee maybe - my intake didn't seem out of bounds, although my heart rate is just now getting back to a desirable level - pretty mellow day for such a widely observed holiday - President's Day - not really too sure of the purpose, but seems to me at some point didn't we acknowledge both Washington and Lincoln on their respective birthday? Will someone get back to me on the change to a consolidated day of recognition? My crack research staff will probably have an answer before I post this and we can follow up at the end of this moose dribble I call dribble of moose. A little reading today, a short nap followed by an evening walk, some homemade soup with baguette, lovely, watching some Olympics, must be winter Olympics given the time of year - note to self: visit Vancouver B.C. - actually when I win the lottery, not if but when, I will spend about a month in some places I have determined worth spending about a month - Vancouver B.C. is one place, Belfast, N. Ireland is another, oh and about a hundred other places, better win the lottery soon I guess if I am going to visit all of those places - Australia would probably be at least a two month visit - better double up on my lottery tickets because that is also my retirement plan - has to be at least a $20 million dollar win to cover my plans - anyways.

Your faithful news reporter hot on the trail of today's hottest news - Tiger impregnated porn star, wow, sorry after that I kind of lost my thought process on breaking news stories - I know other things probably went on in the world like weather and stuff, sorry, so many questions I want to ask Tiger, dang! Breaking news as it becomes available from your faithful news guy...oh what is the point - Tiger, dang...

Someone asked me the other day if Hambone and Big Larry were real people or just characters I made up to fill in space and make fun of a couple of goofy hillbilly bogan hicks from Southwest Idaho - whoa, whoa whoa - what? No,no, no seriously what?

Just in from my crack research staff - according to Wikipedia Washington is a state and Lincoln is an automobile - President's Day was established in 1985 by K-Mart to discount winter clothing and clear store space for Spring - thank you crack research staff!

If half of the health care costs in this country are covered by government administered programs does that mean we are halfway to socialized health care? Bye flu Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a traveling salesman - hawking my wares throughout the country side - selling a dream of a better life - providing a service to those in need of my products - no wonder I never did anything in sales - with a line of BS like that who would stick around to hear the part about it slices, it dices, it makes mountains of julienne fries! Or is that something else I am thinking of - Death of a Salesman - what product did he sell? Supposedly he was pedaling the American dream or maybe I am thinking of Rain Man - Wow, really freaking myself out here - flashback city - did you see that? So, how is it, eh?
Started the day with a smile - two cups of cold coffee sitting and waiting for me along with a fresh brewed pot of espresso roast - here is how it goes - I nuke a cup of the cold coffee for thirty seconds (staring at the microwave with anticipation and sleep crust in my eyes), when that is done I drink (drink is maybe too delicate a term, gulp might be more appropriate) that cup while the other is nuking for 30 seconds - of course I fill the first cup with fresh brew as I drink the second cup of nuked coffee (again drink might not be correct) - so, are you keeping up? - at this point I now have two cups of nuked coffee quickly on their way to my bloodstream and I can savor the freshly brewed coffee at my leisure, usually means that as soon as it is cool enough to drink I am, drinking it that is - and so that is how my dance with java went this morning - not sure of the intake but enough to set my nervous system right on the edge - not crazy edge but scalp tingling edge - lovely, lovely!
Good day today - a little insight into the future - always good - well not always but in this case it was good - out and mingling with other cultures and professions - nice for a change of pace - home for a quiet evening of absolutely freakin' nothing - OK, once in awhile - nice little nap - nothing wrong with a nap - all snugly wugly with the fuzzy blanket - what? I will take as long of a shower as needed and use as much soap as it takes!
Ace reporter here reporting on the important news of the day - Winter Olympics started - stock market down - Haiti still messed up - Bill Clinton has a heart, not working right, but he has one - and last I looked outside it was sprinkling a little - and that has been your news for today - as I see it and report it - stay tuned for updates and breaking news as it happens!
Hambone agreed to take Big Larry's cat off his hands - seems Big Larry couldn't deal with the fleas in his camper - blamed them on the cat - but Hambone said the fleas wouldn't be a problem as they won't survive the fryer - not sure what that means - by the way Hambone has invited us all for dinner this weekend - a new Chinese dish he wants to try.
Must be crazy working in a Dentist office - do you think they take turns administering laughing gas to each other? How about the Novocaine? Nice! Must be crazy working in a Dentist office.

How long ago was it that you swore you would never have a cell phone? Bye ring-tone Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a high rise building window washer - risking life and limb dangling from the side of a high rise building - washing the dirt and grime from the windows looking out on humanity - precise and economical motions with brush and squeegee - washing five thousand square feet of glass in a work day - and by the way people, I can see inside the building- you would be surprised at how many people think that just because they are inside that someone on the other side of the window can't see in - gentleman on the fourteenth floor corner office, your secret is safe with me but I wouldn't wear the red shoes with that skirt - just my opinion - so what is up dog?

Started this wonderful day in our wonderful part of the world with no less than the same wonderful routine - can you guess? okay, here is a hint - COFFEE - freakin' A dude, I did not want to haul the bones out of the sheets this morning - took all of my energy to drag myself to the coffee maker where I was able to pull myself up and reach the handle and spill some coffee on the floor where I could lay my face in it and lap it up - when a little caffeine entered my system I was able to sit up and reach the coffee pot - or in sophisticated circles they would call it a carafe - rhymes with giraffe - not sure why it rhymes with giraffe - they don't look alike - anyway, I don't recommend spilling hot coffee on your face before 7:00am, although it did wake me up and get me going - don't look at me! The scars are terrible!

Did anyone hear something about a snow storm back east? I guess they had some snow or something back there - evidently it messed up some government operations and caused some other issues with the smooth operation of the federal government - is this what it has come to? Blaming the lame government on bad weather? I can just see the headlines "Government is turmoil, blamed on snow!" - or something along those lines - how is your weather?
Seems Big Larry has a new pet - started feeding a stray cat about a week ago and now he lets in in his camper to sleep - has a little bed fixed up and everything - I asked him what kind of cat it was and if he named it - he said he is not sure if he is going to keep it long enough to name it - I guess Big Larry's camper is full of fleas now so he figures it is a goddamn cat - never heard of that breed and not really sure if the cat is to blame for the fleas - I have seen Big Larry's friends and some could use a good de-lousing - not just the men friends either.
Did you forget something today? Did you forget something yesterday? It is too early to know if you forgot something tomorrow! Bye bye Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of a American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a cookie maker - yes, you read it right - cookie maker - wouldn't call myself a baker because baking is just a portion of the creative process - developing the combination of ingredients, coming up with exacting amounts, size, calorie counts, etc. all go into the process - then finding just the right ingredients - usually organic and all natural - only the finest stone ground oatmeal and wheat products - cocoa and chocolates from exotic named places - all combined to make monster cookies of only the finest quality - or Chips Ahoy are pretty good also, as long as you can dunk them in coffee - so, what is up home slice?
Very good day today! A little reading and splashing some words on the screen and maybe a few to paper - read the newspaper and thoroughly digested the 'Boise Weekly' - love that publication - it is what I aspire to be someday - meaningful that is - who am I kidding - the way I zig zag through thoughts and facts and mostly made up stuff that dribbles out of my mind, I will be lucky if I am not committed at some point - check for news stories of committed madman - Super Bowl today - a happy day and a sad day - nice that game is on but sad that football season will officially be over for another year - oh, well this is my official opening of Spring - only daisy's and green grass from now till that other season - the Halloween season - you know.
Thanks to my home boy in the great white north I was able to watch one of my most favorite groups of boys in their new movie - although this humor is lost on some, I find it probably closer to some truth about where we live in this part of the country - thanks again K-ROC - enjoyed it immensely!
I am running a little long on this spewing forth of spew but I did want to comment a little on the situation of the missionaries jailed in Haiti for trying to take children across the border to the Dominican Republic without the proper paperwork and authority. When I first heard the story I knew it would get more interesting as more details came to light - and probably because it is close to home that we hear so much about it but the characters are starting to develop and the blind following of people in the name of religion and maybe the almighty dollar - as time goes by the story just gets deeper and more involved - most of it revolving around the leader of the group and her dealings in life - interesting at the least!
Big Larry and Hambone won't be watching the Super Bowl today because their favorite team - Oakland Raiders - have been out of the running for several weeks now - Big Larry is a faithful Raider fan - mainly because he says he looks cool in the leather ball cap with the Raider logo - doubt he really knows much about the team but if I buy him a black Raider t-shirt every other year or so he is good. Hambone was once a Dallas Cowboy fan but says he can't get behind a team that the quarterback's name rhymes with homo - such is life at the Stage Stop.
Eat your dessert first because you never know if the main course will be something you don't like - I think that is the saying - Bye crisp Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a museum curator - not a really big museum - not a very important museum like the ones in New York or Paris or Omaha - but a museum none the less - this is a museum of art from artists known only to a handful of people in the world - oh, wow, not sure where I was going with that whole art museum thing - evidently no where - oh, so how is it going?
A pretty good day in our little section of life - it is the end of the first month of the oh-ten year and a little snow on the ground to prove it is still winter - hate it - winter that is - if I have said it once I will say it a thousand times - people should migrate just like other animals - why do you think all the wildlife is in Arizona this time of year? - not because of better tax laws or cheaper booze - because it's freakin' summer like weather there in winter - except for the occasional monsoon thing from California that will mess up your golf plans - nothing good ever came from California - oh now, calm down, calm down - Northern California grows some good weed and I guess if you are into wine - anyways - just ask a beaver how come they are in Mesa this time of year - weather!
Started today with a lovely House Blend (Thank You Tyler!) - he gets so embarrassed when I mention his name - turns all red and giggles a little, but he is my source of liquid loveliness each and every day - only the finest beans and brewed to perfection in my cheap ass coffee maker - lovely, just lovely - as I was mentioning earlier, happiness is a pot of good coffee, a crock pot cooking, a good book or two, a fuzzy blanket, snow on the ground outside and a Sunday to enjoy it all - that lasted all of maybe two hours than I was freakin' bored - I blame society for my need to be entertained - a couple of hours without bright, fast paced, loud stimulation and I am screaming at the blank wall of my inner being - entertain me damn it - whoa dude, back off on the caffeine for just a second or two - better, better, better...
So, did you hear about the good christian missionaries smuggling kids out of Haiti? I guess their story is that they were taking them to an orphanage in the Dominican Republic but didn't know they didn't have the right paperwork. Some of the kids weren't even orphans and had been told they were going on a vacation. It will be interesting to hear more details.
Did you know Hambone was once married to a circus performer? He was telling us about it the other day. She was a clown, a midget clown. You know the one that always pops out of the clown car just when you think all of the clowns are out and one more pops out. The little clown that runs between the legs of the other clowns. Although I wondered if Hambone was telling us the truth. He couldn't remember her name because he said it was a short marriage.
Don't hate me because I am beautiful - there are so many other reasons to hate me - leave beauty out of it - Bye fly Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of the dude who picks up the trash in the McDonald's parking lot - my dream job - I would also ask if I could wash the windows outside and generally maintain the outside of the building - who would bitch if you took your time cleaning up the spilled ice cream from the parking lot or how long it takes to clean the front door glass - dream job I tell ya - probably get a uniform, a broom and dust pan on a long handle - sweet - that is my retirement program - McDonald's clean up dude - I would probably even do the bathrooms - just shut em down and hide out for at least an hour or so ($6.25 worth) - sorry! can't use the restrooms, cleaning in progress, go home and crap in your own toilet - nothing worse than a sudden bowel gurgle after eating McDonald's - projectile even! So how was your day?
Yes, oh yes, what you have been waiting for, how I started my day - just like most days I woke up - that joke never gets old - I beg your pardon? Start your own damn blog then! Oh wait, I might have scared off a few hundred loyal readers with that statement - which brings me to a point - I would like to thank all of you for reading this trash and being loyal subscribers - Reader totals are now at somewhere around 50,000 - amazing that word spread of this garbage and people actually look forward to reading it - amazing! The money I make from this little project goes to my favorite charity because I do this out of love and not for the coin!
Did anyone catch the President's State of the Union Address last night? It seemed to be a very interesting speech - could someone tell me what he said, please! Must be my ADD because I didn't really follow it very well - the clapping always throws me off - never get back on track after the clapping - anyways!
Good day in our lovely part of Nirvana - also known as the Gem State - you know because we grow gems of potatoes - the new purple potatoes are quite popular now - I think you can only get them at Whole Foods though - bummer!
If you see Big Larry or Hambone this week ask them if they still need a ride to the airport - I think they are flying somewhere or maybe just hanging out - not sure - either way I will give them a ride to the airport.
Wisdom for the Day - don't ask for my opinion if you don't have time to listen to my opinion - or something along those lines - I forget.
Adios amigos y amigas - taco belle grande - Bye ole' Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a 12th century catholic priest - oh, right, like I would have a clue as to what life would be like for a 12th century catholic priest - ha,ha,ha - the joke is on me - would they be slaying dragons or parting the Red Sea or something? maybe that was a 12th century barber? crap, I get oldie time barbers and priests mixed up - one cut hair, right? whatever...
So, what is going on? A beautiful day in this part of the world - might have been nice in other parts of the world too but I wasn't there to verify the weather, I was just here, in this part of the world... had a thought but it escaped me... it is getting on toward the end of the month of January of this grand and glorious year of oh ten, like how I did that? Started the day as usual, woke, said "what the hell?", well, that wasn't usual but I just wanted to say "hell", you know the 12th century barber or priest thing - pretty much didn't do a thing except laze around and watch football - oh, there was a trip to airport, warehouse membership store and tanning salon - pretty typical barber or priest stuff.
Thank you all for the well wishes during my absence from the blog world - contrary to rumors I did not have electric shock therapy or a lobotomy, although I can't account for a new scar just above my left eye socket - Thank you all the same for the nice thoughts!
On a recent visit to a sporting goods store (to get some sporting goods) I noticed an item for sale and just had to comment - it was a snowball press - a contraption to make snowballs - looked like a combination between an ice cream scoop and salad tongs - I guess the art of hand made snowballs will soon be lost - maybe there will be an app for that?
Not really sure what is going on in the world - I will watch some news soon and report back - seems like I heard something about something happening in Haiti - I will check on that.
Big Larry has been calling quite often lately - one of his resolutions for the new year was to keep in touch with friends - he calls and just breaths into the phone - actually I think he is watching TV and forgot he dialed - he has never been much at multi tasking - attention span thing too - at least he is making an effort at the resolution.
All for now and one for all - I think that is how it goes - Bye goes Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a Spanish Bull Fighter - dressed in my finest bull fighting costume ready to dodge the charging bull and thrust my sword deep into the neck muscles to display my years of training in the art of bull fighting - bull - I have been to bull fights before and by the time the matador gets to the party the bull is mostly dead - so how is your day?
A superbly wonderful day here in sunny Puerto Toileto also known as somewhere in the west - do not tell others about this wonderful place or they may want to move here - it is the best kept secret in all of the world - ok, ok!
Started the day as I usually do - waking - drinking too much coffee - who decides if it is too much? - sometimes I can't sit still - sometimes I pace back and forth - sometimes my heart races and I feel uneasy - time for another cup of coffee. Great day today - no hurry to go anywhere or do anything - just as it should be - a little shopping, a little tanning bed, a quick visit with the parents - all good, all good.
The football season is winding down - always a big part of my schedule during the year - kind of sad to see it over but it also means that spring is not too far off and I will sit on the patio and drink coffee in the nice spring air - speaking of which I need to barbeque something - nothing like the great taste of barbeque when it is done while the temperature is below freezing - I do believe the barbeque molecules line up differently depending on the surrounding weather conditions - read that on Wikipedia I think - barbeque and football, getting a little tingle talking about those two subjects - so how is your day?
Did anyone see the news today? What is happening with Tiger Woods? Did you see that girl from the reality show has a new hair-do? Must not have been much going on if no one is commenting... News wise I mean - oh, hell I don't know what I mean and that is why I spew forth so... anyway... dot dot dot...
Nothing from Big Larry or Hambone in the past few days - not unusual for those two - Big Larry was stranded in Bliss over the New Year and last I heard he was a little embarrassed to talk about it - the whole missing shoes and waking in a strange motel room thing - don't know why he was embarrassed - not like it was the first time he has done that - and Hambone is Hambone - wonder how long it took his new girlfriend to find out why he is nicknamed Hambone - always a funny reaction - unless there is a doctor involved - not funny then!
Was it the dogs first time attempting to cross the busy freeway or had it done it many times before and this just happened to be the last time.
Oh what a day - Oh what a night - Tomorrow will bring "Just another Day" - Bye bye Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a 1968 peace protester - marching through the streets to bring attention to the war and its atrocities - staging campus sit ins to show unity for the cause - burning draft cards in front of the White House in protest of an unpopular and wholly unmeaningful conflict - just another day my friend!
And then reality sets in - not realty - that is like land and buildings and stuff - I am talking reality - you know, like when you go to use your debit card and the clerk in the store starts laughing because a warning has appeared and an official from your bank has been alerted and they are on their way now to confiscate your card and maybe even put that dunce cap thing on your head that says "Loser" - that kind of reality. So how is it going?
A somewhat foggy and dreary day in this part of the world known as Fiesta Bowl Giant Killer country - weather seems appropriate, after all it is just after the new year and in the heart of winter - what if you didn't understand that term "in the heart of" - maybe you were new to this language - would you think it meant something different? maybe literal - maybe? Ponder that you ponderer! Started the day like most days - crap, that is getting old - maybe I should start each day differently - I will ponder that - anyways, good coffee and a positive attitude each morning are what drive my engine - by the way I only have a four cylinder - good day at the office - like I work in an office - good day out on the bicycle picking up cans - aluminum is fetching a good price now - home to a good meal and time to ponder the future - a lot of pondering going on today - must be the new year stuff - must be.
Just a quick comment about a news brief I heard today - an NBA player was suspended from playing without pay for bringing hand guns to the basketball arena - I actually don't know what to say about that - is it a reflection of our times that basketball players feel the need to pack heat? Might be a good opportunity to make a statement about this kind of activity and take away this players source of income - anyways.
Hambone has made a new years resolution to bathe more often - evidently over the holidays he met a lady and is paying a little more attention to his personal hygiene - seems I remember once before when he met a lady and he found out that the affliction she gave him couldn't be cured with soap and water - hope this turns out better - good luck to Hambone.
Given the chance to evaluate yourself, why would you ever rate yourself less then excellent? Something to ponder boys, something to ponder - Bye wah Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of drummer, a drummer in a rock and roll band, keeping the beat, driving the tune, adding to the rhythm and groovin' to the feeling - to be a rock and not to roll - crap I know nothing about music but the sensation is real - or it could just be too much coffee at almost Jan. 2nd! Pay attention and you will be amazed - or not - the choice is yours!
Started the day as usual - why must I tell you how my day starts? Oh, I thought you could tell me because I have no clue why I tell you anything - anyway, I had the pleasure of fixing my famous fried eggs for several of my favorite big and little ones - my fried eggs are famous all over the world - but my world extends no further than the kitchen - as it should be! One thing I must tell you is that I did not have a drop of coffee until almost 10:30 this morning! Wow, my body was slapping my mind or my mind was slapping my body - either way I was getting slapped for lack of my own god's gift of drink! I made up for it though - smile, smile!
Happy New Year! Now is the time of year to make resolutions - did you make any? I have made one or two but this is not the place to talk about my life's goals and dreams for the new year.
In two different places today I saw articles about how to relieve or cure a hangover. Must be a call for such remedies after holiday parties? Anyway, I have my own remedy and it only took me twenty or maybe thirty years to develop - if you are interested in the remedy just e-mail me and I will share it with you.
Big Larry called this morning to wish me Happy New Year and let me know that someone stole his new coat last night - well, he thinks someone stole it because he couldn't find it this morning - he also couldn't find one of his shoes (he wears Reebok white tennis shoes, long story) and the fact that he woke up in a motel room in Bliss with a note pinned to his shirt is a clue to the kind of New Year's Eve party Big Larry had - his pickup and all other belongings were intact - funny, funny!
I took a drink and it quenched my thirst - I saw your face and it stole my heart - I took a breath and it cleared my mind - I felt your touch and the warmth returned - I heard the song and then it was gone.
If you find yourself, maybe you can help me in my search..... Bye high Bye!