Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a surgeon - today we will be performing a total knee replacement using state of the art technology and the newest in human replacement parts - today's medicine is far superior to even that of just a couple of years ago, for example, we can now charge $75000 for a new knee, just two years ago we could only charge $69000, modern medicine is wonderful - the drugs used are much better now also - I used to snort surgical cocaine as I was cutting but now I have found a wonderful cream I rub on the inside of my thighs and achieve the same euphoric high without the white powder residue on my nostrils - which reminds me, I need to get to the butcher shop and order steaks for the barbecue next weekend, any suggestions as to a good cut of meat? Just asking... geez...
I'm back... did you miss me? Of course you did, as evidenced by the many e-mails, texts and other communications wondering if I was ever going to blog again - never fear my loyal followers, maybe fear is the wrong word.
Started the day by slogging down two cups of luke warm coffee just to get enough caffeine in my system to give me the energy to make a fresh pot of the jeweled brew, never throw out old coffee, you never know when it will save your life - anyway don't believe everything you hear about rubbing stuff on your inner thighs, sometimes it just makes a mess - beautiful day in the land so conservative that education is considered optional, just follow your god fearing conservative leader and you will never need any of that education stuff, now get in line, now, good minions good...what did the green bean say to the lima bean? see, now you're thinking the freakin' beans are talking to each other, because I know for a second you were asking yourself "what did the green bean say?" - get in line - well, actually green beans could talk at one time but the ad didn't go over well in Omaha so it was pulled from rotation - and never rub green beans on your inner thighs... just saying...
Has anyone seen any news lately? I guess there is an issue with traffic in Southern California, seems the world will stand still there for a weekend or so... what about women's soccer? what? baseball is the only major league sport happening right now - good god, I guess it could be worse - we could have to listen to ego-maniacal politicians stutter and sput over debt ceiling issues that we know in the long run they are going to screw up anyway - jesus, who asked about news?
It is summer-time and Big Larry and Hambone are usually pretty busy this time of year - Hambone drives truck for a farmer and has plenty to do, keeps him out of trouble - Big Larry spends part of his days fishing this time of year - he has to be careful though, Big Larry won't buy a fishing license because you need a home address to get a license - he is still mad about the census not counting him because he didn't have an address yet the people from the school loans seem to find him just fine - Big Larry never catches a fish anyway...
The house fly boarded the plane in Minneapolis bound for Denver - would he know anyone in Denver? A house fly on an airplane, would it take a seat? Would it fly while flying? The house fly boarded the plane in Minneapolis.
Sometimes bad decisions are made because of a full bladder - Bye not Bye!!!
