Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a one man recycling effort - actually that is the name of my new endeavor "One Man Recycling Effort" - now that the price of aluminum is up and everyone has great big recycling bins sitting out in front of their homes I figured I would take advantage of the craze, jump on the band wagon and start my new business - recycling - so I bought an adult three wheel cycle - guess it's not a bicycle if it has three wheels -tricycle - why do they call them bicycles if there is a different style for male and female - anyway - so my new business started last week, my new tricycle and a big basket on the back - also some big black plastic bags - now I spend my days pedaling all over the valley picking up cans along side the road and turning them in for cash - this has been a benefit in multiple ways - good exercise and good for the environment - now if the price of aluminum reaches about $500 a pound I might even make enough to give up my other job of digging ditches - anyway.
So, the day started like most all days - sunshine in the window, sunshine in my heart - big slog of coffee in my gullet - oh, speaking of coffee, I have been introduced to a new grass roots political movement called of all things, Coffee Party Movement - love it, I hope a local chapter starts up soon here because I would have coffee with them and listen to the caffeine induced political rambling - love it - anything to do with coffee and sitting drinking coffee sounds like a good idea - wonder if they need some coffee - I could supply a pound or two of some good beans - thanks to Tyler, my favorite nephew - anyway - good day - nothing too extraordinary to proclaim - weather seems to be changing a bit - love the Spring - guess I have already expressed that fact - anyway.
This just in from high atop news central - the two remaining jailed missionaries in Haiti sent an urgent request to the Haitian judge asking for immediate release from jail as their services are now needed in Chile after the devastating earthquake there - stay tuned for updates on breaking news!
Seems Hambone is in a bit of a mess with his new girlfriends mother - actually he dated the Mother before dating the daughter and borrowed some money from the Mother while he was dating her - now he is trying to borrow a few dollars from the daughter to pay back the Mother but the daughter said she would have to borrow money from the Mother to lend to Hambone to pay back the money he borrowed from the Mother while he was dating her - or something like that - anyway, the Mother kind of misses Hambone, I think.

There once was a lad named Turkin'
Whose gerkin he paid for a workin'
He picked up a bug
Had to shave off his rug
Now young Turkin' is wearing a murkin!

Stay Classy Canadians, for Hockey is Canada and Canada is Hockey! Bye Gold Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a prehistoric caveman - wandering the country side looking for berries and hunting small game for dinner - I guess cavemen called it dinner - maybe they just called it "ugh" - anyway, on this day the wheel was invented - eventually to be developed into those cool cars Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble drove - the good old days when your feet where the brakes - bet Toyota wishes they had good brakes like that - get too fancy with the technology and stuff can go wrong - just ask Wilma after that new garbage disposal prehistoric hog chased her around the kitchen when she tried to put the brontosaurus bones in - pissed right off he was - the old garbage disposal hog never minded - happy to have the work - anyway, yeah well, anyway...

Started the day like most - tell me how you start your day? Coffee, a little bran fiber, maybe some fruit? Jim Beam? Wake and bake? Whatever gets you through the morning, that's cool, that's cool - afternoon weather pretty nice today - I noticed some bulbs starting to break through the soil - good sign - Me Loves The Spring - title to my new song - will debut on American Idol at the end of this season - it's a song about Love and Spring, oh and it is about how I love Spring - a song about that - pretty uneventful day - work, home, dinner or sometimes I call it "Ugh" - you know like the caveman - never mind - a little reading and now some deep thinking - just joking ya!

Johnny on the spot with today's news and tomorrow's headlines - actually probably already headlines - kind of think that is where I saw them but none the less - News! Feds deny funding for downtown Boise trolley car fantasy - good, give up the stupid idea now - eight of the Haitian missionaries detained for trafficking children are released and within 48 hours of their release one of them will talk on the Oprah show, unfreaking believable - Tiger to make an announcement about something or other tomorrow - and some other news that escapes me at the moment, oh right, Olympics!

Big Larry said it is time to relocate his camper - he figures he has been rooted in one place too long because his mail is starting to be delivered to his camper - not sure how that works - it's a pickup camper hauled off in the weeds behind the Stage Stop - anyway he said the government found him and is sending him bills for his old student loans - he always told us he was only 3 credits away from a BS degree - we would tell him he had a PhD in BS - that joke never gets old!

The blind man stood on the edge of the cliff listening for the sounds of the little town below to reach him on the warmth of the afternoon breezes! Bye did Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of an American madman - oh, probably not the definition of madman you would typically use, but this madman spends time drinking coffee, feeding the birds, laughing at humanity, laughing at himself, grinding out the thoughts that contribute to the madness, not mad in a sense of anger, or even mad in the sense of crazy or insane, but mad as in... oh, hell if I knew what I was writing about I probably would have been to the point by now - mad, crazy, insane, angry, happy, numbly eccentric, yes I like that - what would you call someone wearing Stewie flannel pants, Brunner's Construction long sleeve shirt and a beanie from the Saskatoon Hilltops? Although I guess if I recognize my condition I probably am OK? Right? Soooooooo.... how was your day?

Started the day with, oh I don't know, coffee maybe - my intake didn't seem out of bounds, although my heart rate is just now getting back to a desirable level - pretty mellow day for such a widely observed holiday - President's Day - not really too sure of the purpose, but seems to me at some point didn't we acknowledge both Washington and Lincoln on their respective birthday? Will someone get back to me on the change to a consolidated day of recognition? My crack research staff will probably have an answer before I post this and we can follow up at the end of this moose dribble I call dribble of moose. A little reading today, a short nap followed by an evening walk, some homemade soup with baguette, lovely, watching some Olympics, must be winter Olympics given the time of year - note to self: visit Vancouver B.C. - actually when I win the lottery, not if but when, I will spend about a month in some places I have determined worth spending about a month - Vancouver B.C. is one place, Belfast, N. Ireland is another, oh and about a hundred other places, better win the lottery soon I guess if I am going to visit all of those places - Australia would probably be at least a two month visit - better double up on my lottery tickets because that is also my retirement plan - has to be at least a $20 million dollar win to cover my plans - anyways.

Your faithful news reporter hot on the trail of today's hottest news - Tiger impregnated porn star, wow, sorry after that I kind of lost my thought process on breaking news stories - I know other things probably went on in the world like weather and stuff, sorry, so many questions I want to ask Tiger, dang! Breaking news as it becomes available from your faithful news guy...oh what is the point - Tiger, dang...

Someone asked me the other day if Hambone and Big Larry were real people or just characters I made up to fill in space and make fun of a couple of goofy hillbilly bogan hicks from Southwest Idaho - whoa, whoa whoa - what? No,no, no seriously what?

Just in from my crack research staff - according to Wikipedia Washington is a state and Lincoln is an automobile - President's Day was established in 1985 by K-Mart to discount winter clothing and clear store space for Spring - thank you crack research staff!

If half of the health care costs in this country are covered by government administered programs does that mean we are halfway to socialized health care? Bye flu Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a traveling salesman - hawking my wares throughout the country side - selling a dream of a better life - providing a service to those in need of my products - no wonder I never did anything in sales - with a line of BS like that who would stick around to hear the part about it slices, it dices, it makes mountains of julienne fries! Or is that something else I am thinking of - Death of a Salesman - what product did he sell? Supposedly he was pedaling the American dream or maybe I am thinking of Rain Man - Wow, really freaking myself out here - flashback city - did you see that? So, how is it, eh?
Started the day with a smile - two cups of cold coffee sitting and waiting for me along with a fresh brewed pot of espresso roast - here is how it goes - I nuke a cup of the cold coffee for thirty seconds (staring at the microwave with anticipation and sleep crust in my eyes), when that is done I drink (drink is maybe too delicate a term, gulp might be more appropriate) that cup while the other is nuking for 30 seconds - of course I fill the first cup with fresh brew as I drink the second cup of nuked coffee (again drink might not be correct) - so, are you keeping up? - at this point I now have two cups of nuked coffee quickly on their way to my bloodstream and I can savor the freshly brewed coffee at my leisure, usually means that as soon as it is cool enough to drink I am, drinking it that is - and so that is how my dance with java went this morning - not sure of the intake but enough to set my nervous system right on the edge - not crazy edge but scalp tingling edge - lovely, lovely!
Good day today - a little insight into the future - always good - well not always but in this case it was good - out and mingling with other cultures and professions - nice for a change of pace - home for a quiet evening of absolutely freakin' nothing - OK, once in awhile - nice little nap - nothing wrong with a nap - all snugly wugly with the fuzzy blanket - what? I will take as long of a shower as needed and use as much soap as it takes!
Ace reporter here reporting on the important news of the day - Winter Olympics started - stock market down - Haiti still messed up - Bill Clinton has a heart, not working right, but he has one - and last I looked outside it was sprinkling a little - and that has been your news for today - as I see it and report it - stay tuned for updates and breaking news as it happens!
Hambone agreed to take Big Larry's cat off his hands - seems Big Larry couldn't deal with the fleas in his camper - blamed them on the cat - but Hambone said the fleas wouldn't be a problem as they won't survive the fryer - not sure what that means - by the way Hambone has invited us all for dinner this weekend - a new Chinese dish he wants to try.
Must be crazy working in a Dentist office - do you think they take turns administering laughing gas to each other? How about the Novocaine? Nice! Must be crazy working in a Dentist office.

How long ago was it that you swore you would never have a cell phone? Bye ring-tone Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a high rise building window washer - risking life and limb dangling from the side of a high rise building - washing the dirt and grime from the windows looking out on humanity - precise and economical motions with brush and squeegee - washing five thousand square feet of glass in a work day - and by the way people, I can see inside the building- you would be surprised at how many people think that just because they are inside that someone on the other side of the window can't see in - gentleman on the fourteenth floor corner office, your secret is safe with me but I wouldn't wear the red shoes with that skirt - just my opinion - so what is up dog?

Started this wonderful day in our wonderful part of the world with no less than the same wonderful routine - can you guess? okay, here is a hint - COFFEE - freakin' A dude, I did not want to haul the bones out of the sheets this morning - took all of my energy to drag myself to the coffee maker where I was able to pull myself up and reach the handle and spill some coffee on the floor where I could lay my face in it and lap it up - when a little caffeine entered my system I was able to sit up and reach the coffee pot - or in sophisticated circles they would call it a carafe - rhymes with giraffe - not sure why it rhymes with giraffe - they don't look alike - anyway, I don't recommend spilling hot coffee on your face before 7:00am, although it did wake me up and get me going - don't look at me! The scars are terrible!

Did anyone hear something about a snow storm back east? I guess they had some snow or something back there - evidently it messed up some government operations and caused some other issues with the smooth operation of the federal government - is this what it has come to? Blaming the lame government on bad weather? I can just see the headlines "Government is turmoil, blamed on snow!" - or something along those lines - how is your weather?
Seems Big Larry has a new pet - started feeding a stray cat about a week ago and now he lets in in his camper to sleep - has a little bed fixed up and everything - I asked him what kind of cat it was and if he named it - he said he is not sure if he is going to keep it long enough to name it - I guess Big Larry's camper is full of fleas now so he figures it is a goddamn cat - never heard of that breed and not really sure if the cat is to blame for the fleas - I have seen Big Larry's friends and some could use a good de-lousing - not just the men friends either.
Did you forget something today? Did you forget something yesterday? It is too early to know if you forgot something tomorrow! Bye bye Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of a American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a cookie maker - yes, you read it right - cookie maker - wouldn't call myself a baker because baking is just a portion of the creative process - developing the combination of ingredients, coming up with exacting amounts, size, calorie counts, etc. all go into the process - then finding just the right ingredients - usually organic and all natural - only the finest stone ground oatmeal and wheat products - cocoa and chocolates from exotic named places - all combined to make monster cookies of only the finest quality - or Chips Ahoy are pretty good also, as long as you can dunk them in coffee - so, what is up home slice?
Very good day today! A little reading and splashing some words on the screen and maybe a few to paper - read the newspaper and thoroughly digested the 'Boise Weekly' - love that publication - it is what I aspire to be someday - meaningful that is - who am I kidding - the way I zig zag through thoughts and facts and mostly made up stuff that dribbles out of my mind, I will be lucky if I am not committed at some point - check for news stories of committed madman - Super Bowl today - a happy day and a sad day - nice that game is on but sad that football season will officially be over for another year - oh, well this is my official opening of Spring - only daisy's and green grass from now till that other season - the Halloween season - you know.
Thanks to my home boy in the great white north I was able to watch one of my most favorite groups of boys in their new movie - although this humor is lost on some, I find it probably closer to some truth about where we live in this part of the country - thanks again K-ROC - enjoyed it immensely!
I am running a little long on this spewing forth of spew but I did want to comment a little on the situation of the missionaries jailed in Haiti for trying to take children across the border to the Dominican Republic without the proper paperwork and authority. When I first heard the story I knew it would get more interesting as more details came to light - and probably because it is close to home that we hear so much about it but the characters are starting to develop and the blind following of people in the name of religion and maybe the almighty dollar - as time goes by the story just gets deeper and more involved - most of it revolving around the leader of the group and her dealings in life - interesting at the least!
Big Larry and Hambone won't be watching the Super Bowl today because their favorite team - Oakland Raiders - have been out of the running for several weeks now - Big Larry is a faithful Raider fan - mainly because he says he looks cool in the leather ball cap with the Raider logo - doubt he really knows much about the team but if I buy him a black Raider t-shirt every other year or so he is good. Hambone was once a Dallas Cowboy fan but says he can't get behind a team that the quarterback's name rhymes with homo - such is life at the Stage Stop.
Eat your dessert first because you never know if the main course will be something you don't like - I think that is the saying - Bye crisp Bye!