Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - well, just another day for a pilgrim right off of the Mayflower and sitting around waiting for the turkey to be done - instructions said cook 12-15 minutes for each pound and watch for the little indicator to pop up once it was done - do you think they had a Marie Calendar's in the pilgrim days? Good pies but not sure about their stuffing - tastes like Stove Top to me - anyway, us pilgrims have it pretty good with all the food today - hope those native Americans bring the green bean casserole, that is good eatin' - John Smith likes dark meat, rumor has it that is why he had to leave England.
If you haven't guessed, today is American Thanksgiving - friends and relatives in Canada had their Thanksgiving in October - cool - started today with a great holiday blend from 'bucks - the Thanksgiving blend - probably will drink a pot this morning and another throughout the day - sharing this special blend with family - I know, what a great guy! Special thanks go out to my favorite nephew Tyler who makes my great coffee selection possible - if you see Tyler today tell him he is my favorite nephew. So, what is everyone doing for this holiday? What are you thankful for? I am thankful for so many things, family, employment, health (mental?), warm home in the winter, cool home in the summer, the assortment of birds that eat about $20 worth of bird food each week, the people that keep our country safe, various and complicated other things that are too vast to mention - oh, one more thing I am thankful for is the author Charles Bukowski, thankful for his works, thanks Henry!
Big Larry will not be joining us for dinner today as he is working - seems Thanksgiving is a day that the management of the Stage Stop is desperate enough for workers that they will let Big Larry work a full shift - he is usually only good for a couple of hours before he starts hanging around the beer cooler just a little too much, or he'll get hungry and try to dispense the pump cheese straight into his mouth - but today he is going to work a full shift - mainly just being there to keep the shelves and cooler stocked, rotating the roller dogs, making sure the restrooms have TP, etc. - he was actually excited to work all day because if he does they will let him eat for free - Thursday is usually meat loaf but don't tell him that today is probably turkey, he still can't eat turkey after the little incident with the feathers - makes me cringe a little too!
Be thankful for what you have and not pissy about what you don't - just for today anyway! Bye gobble gobble Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - another fantastic day in the life of a space cowboy - gliding through space at intergalactic speeds to new adventures not yet known to the inhabitants of our green and blue planet - discovering the wonders of distant worlds and life - I'm a joker and and a smoker, I'm a midnight toker - sure don't want to hurt no one.
Maybe I should change the title of this endeavor to 'Journey of a Space Cowboy' - what do you think? - let's take a vote - all those in favor say ahhhh - wave your hands in the air like you just don't care - bite my arse - like I care - well, I do and I am a very delicate little flower - my feelings are always in consideration when it comes to what others think of me - Space Cowboy - ha,ha,ha, - I do believe that was my first ha,ha of the month - only wish it was my last - not doing too well in the ha,ha department.
Started today at an ungodly hour - and what is 'ungodly'? - I suppose that term might mean 'hell' or 'hellish', without god maybe? - just really early is what I mean - awake and couldn't sleep well before normal people are awake on a Sunday morning - oh by the way it is Sunday in November creeping up on Thanksgiving - and when I say normal people what does that mean? - all over the place here today - and if you want a messed up schedule drink a pot of high octane 'bucks coffee before the sun comes up and just see if you don't swiffer and vacuum and do the dishes all at once - but then by noon I crashed hard - drool on the loveseat crash - nice,nice. So how was your day? Tell me please! or not, it's ok.
So, what shall we talk about today? That's what I thought - a one way conversation - I didn't really watch any news today so if you want to talk about current affairs go ahead - watched alot of football and that was about it.
Had tons of e-mail this week asking how come I wasn't posting new ramblings - well, it is a long story but one that must be told - Big Larry came by last week and asked if he could log on to my computer to check on the Nascar standings - he said he was in some fantasy Nascar league and if he wins he would get a free trip to a race next year - so I let him use my computer and it seems he was surfing some questionable sites and picked up some virus in my computer that kept me from accessing this site to post new thoughts - and somewhere along the line he tried to get into a local police records site to manipulate a traffic ticket - so he said - the five policemen who showed up at my door and interrogated me for three hours said something about threats to national security - but I find it hard to believe that Big Larry is sophisticated enough to hack into such sites - although he did work for a large computer firm years ago - hmmm...
Buy a yacht with a flag sayin' chillin' the most - Bye low Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - A beautiful cool morning nestled in the lovely mountain retreat of Austria known as Hassleburg - drinking fine brewed European coffee while watching the high clouds encircling the mountain peaks and the first hint of winter drifts through like a long lost visitor to our village - or I am sitting in my recliner with a laptop and drinking 'bucks coffee brewed in the cheapest Mr. Coffee (with auto-timer) that I could find at WalMart - no product or retailer endorsement intended - and how do I know if this will be just another day? - well, young reader, so far it has been a morning of reading and coffee - Just another Day - not complaining, just saying.
Going through another not sleeping phase - believe it is related to intergalactic space travel by unknown beings - when they pass too close to Earth I have visions of their travel - it is these visions that keep me from sleeping - I have chronicled the life long experience of my visions in a book that you might be interested in reading - the book is called 'Visions of an American Madman' and may be purchased at any chain bookstore for $19.95 - cheaper if you happen to have a membership with the chain store - sometimes up to 10% off - anyway, I guess there must be some alien convention or something in the Radex galaxy because all of the travel is in that direction and there has been a steady stream of spaceships and other craft passing through our solar system lately - I will keep you up to date if I have any particularly good visions.
Has anyone been watching any news lately? I guess it would help to catch a few minutes of news or read a paper once in awhile to see what is going on in the world - is the President on a trip to Asia or someplace? - seems the economy is healed, isn't it? oh - any celebrities passed away lately? - ok, maybe I will set aside some time this brisk November weekend to scan some news - does watching videos clips of dogs chasing their tail count for news? so funny though - should be good college football too - a smart television network would have news updates during football time outs - would make for a well rounded viewer - maybe I will mention that to my media friends.
"What is the difference between steam and smoke?" asked the young scientist from Miss Wembley's second grade class. Miss Wembley replied with a trembling voice "And why do you ask young Master Smith?" Young scientist Master Smith hesitated...
Bye laughing quietly to myself Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - by popular demand - really surprised at the amount of feedback I have received by loyal followers of my periodic ramblings - Thank You for the kind words of encouragement and yes I plan on being here for a long time - not to worry - I do it for you! - oops - just pooped in my pants a little there - A fan favorite is Just another Day in the life of a pirate of the high seas - blah, blah, blah, blah, blah... Johnny Depp is a good pirate - also a good Hunter S. Thompson, you know "Fear and Loathing" dude - never mind - anyway, go pirate go - lovely weather we are having but seems there may be a little cold front moving in for a few days and then back to a little warmer weather - this weather forecast brought to you by RamblingsofanAmericanMadman.com now playing in a theater near you - oh, I can dream of fame and fortune can't I? Yes I can!
Started the day like most other days - coffee, shower, stock market reports, coffee, get dressed while watching stock market reports, coffee, drink coffee while getting dressed while watching stock market reports - wow, no wonder I am tired early, there is a lot going on there - feel like I missed something though - did I mention coffee, probably - if I didn't mention coffee in this blog I wouldn't have anything to write about - better be careful using that word - write - lawsuits have happened over lesser infractions - good day today - not for everyone but some days are just like that - will keep smiling - got into a bit of a mind funk earlier - spinning, spinning - a mile on the treadmill and a cold shower snapped me out of it - funks can usually be attributed to plopping down in front of TV and staring at it for more than is healthy funk wise.
A bad man was executed tonight - have mixed feelings about the death penalty - in this case it was probably OK - what are your thoughts?
Caller ID is a wonderful thing - what did we do before caller ID? - just take a chance that it would be someone you wanted to talk to? - I remember not having caller ID and seems like we welcomed the phone to ring - maybe it was the adventure of the thing - funny, not funny ha,ha just funny.
The moment I stepped off the train I realized that...oh, so you have heard this one before? OK, well then, that is all I have - Bye whoa Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day! My it was just another day in the life of an Indian Chief - feather not dot - leading my tribe of noble proud people through the hardships and bounty that is the gift of the earth - sleeping on elk robes and dressed in fine leather beaded to indicate my high status among the native people - wow, forgot, I am allergic to elk robes, better find a new gig - anyway, great day in the country we call southwest Idaho and great weather for this time of year - has anyone read the Farmer's Almanac? how is the winter suppose to be weather wise? Get back to me if you would please. Not a big winter fan - well, hate winter is more appropriate to describe my feelings - oh, don't look at me like that - and don't look at me like that either - in fact don't look at me at all - geez - winter, don't freak out on me just because I am not a winter lover.
Started today surrounded by loved ones for breakfast - great way to start a Sunday - happy faces and fried eggs, sausage, hash browns and blueberry waffles - no wonder I felt like taking a nap shortly after noon - by the way, be sure to tell those close to you thank you for being good people - I am sure I don't express that enough but will make an effort to do so in the future. Coffee was very good today - stepped away from the 'bucks brand for a day to expand my coffee experience and was not disappointed in the Kootenai brand - in fact it was quite delightful - but my affiliation with a major nationwide chain keeps me from saying too much more for fear they will stop my supply of beans - and you don't want me going without coffee for too long - I mean, I don't want to be without it - sorry, freaking myself out there - let's not talk about it.
Hambone finally called today - said he is having some medical issues - I told him I am not interested in his self pleasuring problems but he said it wasn't that this time - he hasn't been having regular bowel movements lately and the only way he does is if he plans it out - it has become quite an ordeal - he has to be at home, not at his sister's but his little trailer, he needs a bottle of red wine, a bottle of white wine, thermos of coffee, pack of Marlboro, pack of Kools, two different newspapers, the TV on and a full roll of two-ply toilet paper - even then he said it is no guarantee - he has become quite worried - I am not answering the phone for awhile.
There once was a man from Nantucket - who carried his lunch in a bucket - believe we are told, a half ton did it hold - the contents each day he would supp it! Bye a Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day in the life of a middle eastern camel herder - driving my herd of camels from oasis to oasis looking for fresh grass and water but all the while secretly smuggling precious items across the border all the while remaining undetectable as a nondescript humble camel herder - anyways, not sure where that was going - as with most of this effort - sometimes it just hits a dead end - and sometimes it just hits a dead end - and sometimes...
Notice anything different about 'Ramblings' today? Yes, I have taken to referring to this blog as 'Ramblings' - I took a survey of readers and by a wide margin (99.9%) they gave their approval to just call this 'Ramblings' - ok? - anyway, notice anything different? Yes, it is morning and a weekday - a most different time for me to be tickling the keyboard - keyboards giggle when you tickle them, well giggle might not be the right term - so back to the day and time of this writing, well now writing might be a bit presumptive, words on a computer screen, we will go with that - I am taking some well deserved time away from work, not actually my idea but a higher being suggested, or actually mandated unpaid time off in an effort to maintain employment - not like I had a say in it but probably a good idea - you know the maintaining employment thing - employment keeps me in things like food and such, probably another good idea, you know the food and such - so anyway that is why I am here this day and time, just in case you were wondering - didn't mean to throw you off of your 'Ramblings' schedule - I know you look for it late at night when some of this stuff makes sense - but I am not really sure the time of day has affected any clarity or logic or anything else as it still seems to be 1000 words of, well, 'Ramblings' - nice day so far though!
So, what is new with you? Troubling news out of the nation's largest army base, tragedy is what it is - stock market was up significantly yesterday - maybe I should start giving stock tips on here - that may be the subject of my next survey - survey says!
Has anyone seen Big Larry lately - or Hambone for that matter? I get a little nervous when I don't hear from one or the other for a few days - usually means trouble - maybe I better call the jail and find out if bail money should be raised - no, if it was that they would have called me - probably in the middle of the night - always sets me back a few hundred dollars when I get those calls - last time Hambone didn't want to leave - said he had grown to like the bologna sandwiches and Juicy Juice - they made him leave anyway - let me know if you see Big Larry or Hambone.
If anyone knows the lyrics to 'Beverly Hillbillies' please don't tell anyone else you know the lyrics to 'Beverly Hillbillies' - Bye you Bye!

Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day! Oh, yes just another day in the life of a WW1 flying ace - cruising the skies in my bi-plane - keep it clean, knuckleheads - looking for enemy fighters to do battle with in the wild blue yonder - dropping agent orange on the jungles to defoliate them and drive out the hated Commies - wait - maybe I need to source my thoughts here for a minute - may be wrong period of battles - which one was Snoopy in again? A beautiful day for the eleventh month of 2009 in the 41st state of the union - 42? Note to self - might do a little more prep work before you start typing there young Bukowski - if you know Bukowski then you are ok - or not - don't use me as a reference - just a friendly warning - or advice - you pick.
I see the latest scam to hit the streets is door-to-door flu vaccination - now I thought I was gullible for sending $500 to Ethiopia and hoping the prince would reward me with millions for getting him out of jail - he sounded so sincere in the e-mail - you have to feel sorry for a prince that has been wrongly imprisoned for being royalty - the money went toward bribes to get him out so he could get across the border to Swayze and access his secret banks accounts - once he was free he would reward those that helped him by transferring money to your checking account - once you gave him access of course - oh, but to be awakened from the dream by some news program that featured the prince as a scam artist - oh well, but even I wouldn't fall for a door-to-door flu vaccination scam - wonder if it is the regular or H1N1 flu vaccination?
Anybody hear the election results? Yes, I understand we have a new president - last years election - I am talking about today - did that one guy make it back in office?
Hambone said he doesn't vote anymore - he thinks the government is corrupt and by voting you are giving a nod to the corruption - some of the locals called Hambone the 'Mayor of Stage Stop' but Big Larry said Hambone would prefer to be called 'Your Excellency' and I don't think the joke was funny anymore - now Big Larry is the for real 'Bogan Prince of Idaho' - a title bestowed upon him by for real Bogan royalty - anyway, Hambone doesn't vote anymore.
And the wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round - oh, keep it clean, knuckleheads - Bye what Bye!