Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a museum curator - not a really big museum - not a very important museum like the ones in New York or Paris or Omaha - but a museum none the less - this is a museum of art from artists known only to a handful of people in the world - oh, wow, not sure where I was going with that whole art museum thing - evidently no where - oh, so how is it going?
A pretty good day in our little section of life - it is the end of the first month of the oh-ten year and a little snow on the ground to prove it is still winter - hate it - winter that is - if I have said it once I will say it a thousand times - people should migrate just like other animals - why do you think all the wildlife is in Arizona this time of year? - not because of better tax laws or cheaper booze - because it's freakin' summer like weather there in winter - except for the occasional monsoon thing from California that will mess up your golf plans - nothing good ever came from California - oh now, calm down, calm down - Northern California grows some good weed and I guess if you are into wine - anyways - just ask a beaver how come they are in Mesa this time of year - weather!
Started today with a lovely House Blend (Thank You Tyler!) - he gets so embarrassed when I mention his name - turns all red and giggles a little, but he is my source of liquid loveliness each and every day - only the finest beans and brewed to perfection in my cheap ass coffee maker - lovely, just lovely - as I was mentioning earlier, happiness is a pot of good coffee, a crock pot cooking, a good book or two, a fuzzy blanket, snow on the ground outside and a Sunday to enjoy it all - that lasted all of maybe two hours than I was freakin' bored - I blame society for my need to be entertained - a couple of hours without bright, fast paced, loud stimulation and I am screaming at the blank wall of my inner being - entertain me damn it - whoa dude, back off on the caffeine for just a second or two - better, better, better...
So, did you hear about the good christian missionaries smuggling kids out of Haiti? I guess their story is that they were taking them to an orphanage in the Dominican Republic but didn't know they didn't have the right paperwork. Some of the kids weren't even orphans and had been told they were going on a vacation. It will be interesting to hear more details.
Did you know Hambone was once married to a circus performer? He was telling us about it the other day. She was a clown, a midget clown. You know the one that always pops out of the clown car just when you think all of the clowns are out and one more pops out. The little clown that runs between the legs of the other clowns. Although I wondered if Hambone was telling us the truth. He couldn't remember her name because he said it was a short marriage.
Don't hate me because I am beautiful - there are so many other reasons to hate me - leave beauty out of it - Bye fly Bye!
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Ramblings of an American Madman
Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of the dude who picks up the trash in the McDonald's parking lot - my dream job - I would also ask if I could wash the windows outside and generally maintain the outside of the building - who would bitch if you took your time cleaning up the spilled ice cream from the parking lot or how long it takes to clean the front door glass - dream job I tell ya - probably get a uniform, a broom and dust pan on a long handle - sweet - that is my retirement program - McDonald's clean up dude - I would probably even do the bathrooms - just shut em down and hide out for at least an hour or so ($6.25 worth) - sorry! can't use the restrooms, cleaning in progress, go home and crap in your own toilet - nothing worse than a sudden bowel gurgle after eating McDonald's - projectile even! So how was your day?
Yes, oh yes, what you have been waiting for, how I started my day - just like most days I woke up - that joke never gets old - I beg your pardon? Start your own damn blog then! Oh wait, I might have scared off a few hundred loyal readers with that statement - which brings me to a point - I would like to thank all of you for reading this trash and being loyal subscribers - Reader totals are now at somewhere around 50,000 - amazing that word spread of this garbage and people actually look forward to reading it - amazing! The money I make from this little project goes to my favorite charity because I do this out of love and not for the coin!
Did anyone catch the President's State of the Union Address last night? It seemed to be a very interesting speech - could someone tell me what he said, please! Must be my ADD because I didn't really follow it very well - the clapping always throws me off - never get back on track after the clapping - anyways!
Good day in our lovely part of Nirvana - also known as the Gem State - you know because we grow gems of potatoes - the new purple potatoes are quite popular now - I think you can only get them at Whole Foods though - bummer!
If you see Big Larry or Hambone this week ask them if they still need a ride to the airport - I think they are flying somewhere or maybe just hanging out - not sure - either way I will give them a ride to the airport.
Wisdom for the Day - don't ask for my opinion if you don't have time to listen to my opinion - or something along those lines - I forget.
Adios amigos y amigas - taco belle grande - Bye ole' Bye!
Yes, oh yes, what you have been waiting for, how I started my day - just like most days I woke up - that joke never gets old - I beg your pardon? Start your own damn blog then! Oh wait, I might have scared off a few hundred loyal readers with that statement - which brings me to a point - I would like to thank all of you for reading this trash and being loyal subscribers - Reader totals are now at somewhere around 50,000 - amazing that word spread of this garbage and people actually look forward to reading it - amazing! The money I make from this little project goes to my favorite charity because I do this out of love and not for the coin!
Did anyone catch the President's State of the Union Address last night? It seemed to be a very interesting speech - could someone tell me what he said, please! Must be my ADD because I didn't really follow it very well - the clapping always throws me off - never get back on track after the clapping - anyways!
Good day in our lovely part of Nirvana - also known as the Gem State - you know because we grow gems of potatoes - the new purple potatoes are quite popular now - I think you can only get them at Whole Foods though - bummer!
If you see Big Larry or Hambone this week ask them if they still need a ride to the airport - I think they are flying somewhere or maybe just hanging out - not sure - either way I will give them a ride to the airport.
Wisdom for the Day - don't ask for my opinion if you don't have time to listen to my opinion - or something along those lines - I forget.
Adios amigos y amigas - taco belle grande - Bye ole' Bye!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Ramblings of an American Madman
Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a 12th century catholic priest - oh, right, like I would have a clue as to what life would be like for a 12th century catholic priest - ha,ha,ha - the joke is on me - would they be slaying dragons or parting the Red Sea or something? maybe that was a 12th century barber? crap, I get oldie time barbers and priests mixed up - one cut hair, right? whatever...
So, what is going on? A beautiful day in this part of the world - might have been nice in other parts of the world too but I wasn't there to verify the weather, I was just here, in this part of the world... had a thought but it escaped me... it is getting on toward the end of the month of January of this grand and glorious year of oh ten, like how I did that? Started the day as usual, woke, said "what the hell?", well, that wasn't usual but I just wanted to say "hell", you know the 12th century barber or priest thing - pretty much didn't do a thing except laze around and watch football - oh, there was a trip to airport, warehouse membership store and tanning salon - pretty typical barber or priest stuff.
Thank you all for the well wishes during my absence from the blog world - contrary to rumors I did not have electric shock therapy or a lobotomy, although I can't account for a new scar just above my left eye socket - Thank you all the same for the nice thoughts!
On a recent visit to a sporting goods store (to get some sporting goods) I noticed an item for sale and just had to comment - it was a snowball press - a contraption to make snowballs - looked like a combination between an ice cream scoop and salad tongs - I guess the art of hand made snowballs will soon be lost - maybe there will be an app for that?
Not really sure what is going on in the world - I will watch some news soon and report back - seems like I heard something about something happening in Haiti - I will check on that.
Big Larry has been calling quite often lately - one of his resolutions for the new year was to keep in touch with friends - he calls and just breaths into the phone - actually I think he is watching TV and forgot he dialed - he has never been much at multi tasking - attention span thing too - at least he is making an effort at the resolution.
All for now and one for all - I think that is how it goes - Bye goes Bye!
So, what is going on? A beautiful day in this part of the world - might have been nice in other parts of the world too but I wasn't there to verify the weather, I was just here, in this part of the world... had a thought but it escaped me... it is getting on toward the end of the month of January of this grand and glorious year of oh ten, like how I did that? Started the day as usual, woke, said "what the hell?", well, that wasn't usual but I just wanted to say "hell", you know the 12th century barber or priest thing - pretty much didn't do a thing except laze around and watch football - oh, there was a trip to airport, warehouse membership store and tanning salon - pretty typical barber or priest stuff.
Thank you all for the well wishes during my absence from the blog world - contrary to rumors I did not have electric shock therapy or a lobotomy, although I can't account for a new scar just above my left eye socket - Thank you all the same for the nice thoughts!
On a recent visit to a sporting goods store (to get some sporting goods) I noticed an item for sale and just had to comment - it was a snowball press - a contraption to make snowballs - looked like a combination between an ice cream scoop and salad tongs - I guess the art of hand made snowballs will soon be lost - maybe there will be an app for that?
Not really sure what is going on in the world - I will watch some news soon and report back - seems like I heard something about something happening in Haiti - I will check on that.
Big Larry has been calling quite often lately - one of his resolutions for the new year was to keep in touch with friends - he calls and just breaths into the phone - actually I think he is watching TV and forgot he dialed - he has never been much at multi tasking - attention span thing too - at least he is making an effort at the resolution.
All for now and one for all - I think that is how it goes - Bye goes Bye!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Ramblings of an American Madman
Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a Spanish Bull Fighter - dressed in my finest bull fighting costume ready to dodge the charging bull and thrust my sword deep into the neck muscles to display my years of training in the art of bull fighting - bull - I have been to bull fights before and by the time the matador gets to the party the bull is mostly dead - so how is your day?
A superbly wonderful day here in sunny Puerto Toileto also known as somewhere in the west - do not tell others about this wonderful place or they may want to move here - it is the best kept secret in all of the world - ok, ok!
Started the day as I usually do - waking - drinking too much coffee - who decides if it is too much? - sometimes I can't sit still - sometimes I pace back and forth - sometimes my heart races and I feel uneasy - time for another cup of coffee. Great day today - no hurry to go anywhere or do anything - just as it should be - a little shopping, a little tanning bed, a quick visit with the parents - all good, all good.
The football season is winding down - always a big part of my schedule during the year - kind of sad to see it over but it also means that spring is not too far off and I will sit on the patio and drink coffee in the nice spring air - speaking of which I need to barbeque something - nothing like the great taste of barbeque when it is done while the temperature is below freezing - I do believe the barbeque molecules line up differently depending on the surrounding weather conditions - read that on Wikipedia I think - barbeque and football, getting a little tingle talking about those two subjects - so how is your day?
Did anyone see the news today? What is happening with Tiger Woods? Did you see that girl from the reality show has a new hair-do? Must not have been much going on if no one is commenting... News wise I mean - oh, hell I don't know what I mean and that is why I spew forth so... anyway... dot dot dot...
Nothing from Big Larry or Hambone in the past few days - not unusual for those two - Big Larry was stranded in Bliss over the New Year and last I heard he was a little embarrassed to talk about it - the whole missing shoes and waking in a strange motel room thing - don't know why he was embarrassed - not like it was the first time he has done that - and Hambone is Hambone - wonder how long it took his new girlfriend to find out why he is nicknamed Hambone - always a funny reaction - unless there is a doctor involved - not funny then!
Was it the dogs first time attempting to cross the busy freeway or had it done it many times before and this just happened to be the last time.
Oh what a day - Oh what a night - Tomorrow will bring "Just another Day" - Bye bye Bye!
A superbly wonderful day here in sunny Puerto Toileto also known as somewhere in the west - do not tell others about this wonderful place or they may want to move here - it is the best kept secret in all of the world - ok, ok!
Started the day as I usually do - waking - drinking too much coffee - who decides if it is too much? - sometimes I can't sit still - sometimes I pace back and forth - sometimes my heart races and I feel uneasy - time for another cup of coffee. Great day today - no hurry to go anywhere or do anything - just as it should be - a little shopping, a little tanning bed, a quick visit with the parents - all good, all good.
The football season is winding down - always a big part of my schedule during the year - kind of sad to see it over but it also means that spring is not too far off and I will sit on the patio and drink coffee in the nice spring air - speaking of which I need to barbeque something - nothing like the great taste of barbeque when it is done while the temperature is below freezing - I do believe the barbeque molecules line up differently depending on the surrounding weather conditions - read that on Wikipedia I think - barbeque and football, getting a little tingle talking about those two subjects - so how is your day?
Did anyone see the news today? What is happening with Tiger Woods? Did you see that girl from the reality show has a new hair-do? Must not have been much going on if no one is commenting... News wise I mean - oh, hell I don't know what I mean and that is why I spew forth so... anyway... dot dot dot...
Nothing from Big Larry or Hambone in the past few days - not unusual for those two - Big Larry was stranded in Bliss over the New Year and last I heard he was a little embarrassed to talk about it - the whole missing shoes and waking in a strange motel room thing - don't know why he was embarrassed - not like it was the first time he has done that - and Hambone is Hambone - wonder how long it took his new girlfriend to find out why he is nicknamed Hambone - always a funny reaction - unless there is a doctor involved - not funny then!
Was it the dogs first time attempting to cross the busy freeway or had it done it many times before and this just happened to be the last time.
Oh what a day - Oh what a night - Tomorrow will bring "Just another Day" - Bye bye Bye!
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Ramblings of an American Madman
Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of a 1968 peace protester - marching through the streets to bring attention to the war and its atrocities - staging campus sit ins to show unity for the cause - burning draft cards in front of the White House in protest of an unpopular and wholly unmeaningful conflict - just another day my friend!
And then reality sets in - not realty - that is like land and buildings and stuff - I am talking reality - you know, like when you go to use your debit card and the clerk in the store starts laughing because a warning has appeared and an official from your bank has been alerted and they are on their way now to confiscate your card and maybe even put that dunce cap thing on your head that says "Loser" - that kind of reality. So how is it going?
A somewhat foggy and dreary day in this part of the world known as Fiesta Bowl Giant Killer country - weather seems appropriate, after all it is just after the new year and in the heart of winter - what if you didn't understand that term "in the heart of" - maybe you were new to this language - would you think it meant something different? maybe literal - maybe? Ponder that you ponderer! Started the day like most days - crap, that is getting old - maybe I should start each day differently - I will ponder that - anyways, good coffee and a positive attitude each morning are what drive my engine - by the way I only have a four cylinder - good day at the office - like I work in an office - good day out on the bicycle picking up cans - aluminum is fetching a good price now - home to a good meal and time to ponder the future - a lot of pondering going on today - must be the new year stuff - must be.
Just a quick comment about a news brief I heard today - an NBA player was suspended from playing without pay for bringing hand guns to the basketball arena - I actually don't know what to say about that - is it a reflection of our times that basketball players feel the need to pack heat? Might be a good opportunity to make a statement about this kind of activity and take away this players source of income - anyways.
Hambone has made a new years resolution to bathe more often - evidently over the holidays he met a lady and is paying a little more attention to his personal hygiene - seems I remember once before when he met a lady and he found out that the affliction she gave him couldn't be cured with soap and water - hope this turns out better - good luck to Hambone.
Given the chance to evaluate yourself, why would you ever rate yourself less then excellent? Something to ponder boys, something to ponder - Bye wah Bye!
And then reality sets in - not realty - that is like land and buildings and stuff - I am talking reality - you know, like when you go to use your debit card and the clerk in the store starts laughing because a warning has appeared and an official from your bank has been alerted and they are on their way now to confiscate your card and maybe even put that dunce cap thing on your head that says "Loser" - that kind of reality. So how is it going?
A somewhat foggy and dreary day in this part of the world known as Fiesta Bowl Giant Killer country - weather seems appropriate, after all it is just after the new year and in the heart of winter - what if you didn't understand that term "in the heart of" - maybe you were new to this language - would you think it meant something different? maybe literal - maybe? Ponder that you ponderer! Started the day like most days - crap, that is getting old - maybe I should start each day differently - I will ponder that - anyways, good coffee and a positive attitude each morning are what drive my engine - by the way I only have a four cylinder - good day at the office - like I work in an office - good day out on the bicycle picking up cans - aluminum is fetching a good price now - home to a good meal and time to ponder the future - a lot of pondering going on today - must be the new year stuff - must be.
Just a quick comment about a news brief I heard today - an NBA player was suspended from playing without pay for bringing hand guns to the basketball arena - I actually don't know what to say about that - is it a reflection of our times that basketball players feel the need to pack heat? Might be a good opportunity to make a statement about this kind of activity and take away this players source of income - anyways.
Hambone has made a new years resolution to bathe more often - evidently over the holidays he met a lady and is paying a little more attention to his personal hygiene - seems I remember once before when he met a lady and he found out that the affliction she gave him couldn't be cured with soap and water - hope this turns out better - good luck to Hambone.
Given the chance to evaluate yourself, why would you ever rate yourself less then excellent? Something to ponder boys, something to ponder - Bye wah Bye!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Ramblings of an American Madman
Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day - just another day in the life of drummer, a drummer in a rock and roll band, keeping the beat, driving the tune, adding to the rhythm and groovin' to the feeling - to be a rock and not to roll - crap I know nothing about music but the sensation is real - or it could just be too much coffee at almost Jan. 2nd! Pay attention and you will be amazed - or not - the choice is yours!
Started the day as usual - why must I tell you how my day starts? Oh, I thought you could tell me because I have no clue why I tell you anything - anyway, I had the pleasure of fixing my famous fried eggs for several of my favorite big and little ones - my fried eggs are famous all over the world - but my world extends no further than the kitchen - as it should be! One thing I must tell you is that I did not have a drop of coffee until almost 10:30 this morning! Wow, my body was slapping my mind or my mind was slapping my body - either way I was getting slapped for lack of my own god's gift of drink! I made up for it though - smile, smile!
Happy New Year! Now is the time of year to make resolutions - did you make any? I have made one or two but this is not the place to talk about my life's goals and dreams for the new year.
In two different places today I saw articles about how to relieve or cure a hangover. Must be a call for such remedies after holiday parties? Anyway, I have my own remedy and it only took me twenty or maybe thirty years to develop - if you are interested in the remedy just e-mail me and I will share it with you.
Big Larry called this morning to wish me Happy New Year and let me know that someone stole his new coat last night - well, he thinks someone stole it because he couldn't find it this morning - he also couldn't find one of his shoes (he wears Reebok white tennis shoes, long story) and the fact that he woke up in a motel room in Bliss with a note pinned to his shirt is a clue to the kind of New Year's Eve party Big Larry had - his pickup and all other belongings were intact - funny, funny!
I took a drink and it quenched my thirst - I saw your face and it stole my heart - I took a breath and it cleared my mind - I felt your touch and the warmth returned - I heard the song and then it was gone.
If you find yourself, maybe you can help me in my search..... Bye high Bye!
Started the day as usual - why must I tell you how my day starts? Oh, I thought you could tell me because I have no clue why I tell you anything - anyway, I had the pleasure of fixing my famous fried eggs for several of my favorite big and little ones - my fried eggs are famous all over the world - but my world extends no further than the kitchen - as it should be! One thing I must tell you is that I did not have a drop of coffee until almost 10:30 this morning! Wow, my body was slapping my mind or my mind was slapping my body - either way I was getting slapped for lack of my own god's gift of drink! I made up for it though - smile, smile!
Happy New Year! Now is the time of year to make resolutions - did you make any? I have made one or two but this is not the place to talk about my life's goals and dreams for the new year.
In two different places today I saw articles about how to relieve or cure a hangover. Must be a call for such remedies after holiday parties? Anyway, I have my own remedy and it only took me twenty or maybe thirty years to develop - if you are interested in the remedy just e-mail me and I will share it with you.
Big Larry called this morning to wish me Happy New Year and let me know that someone stole his new coat last night - well, he thinks someone stole it because he couldn't find it this morning - he also couldn't find one of his shoes (he wears Reebok white tennis shoes, long story) and the fact that he woke up in a motel room in Bliss with a note pinned to his shirt is a clue to the kind of New Year's Eve party Big Larry had - his pickup and all other belongings were intact - funny, funny!
I took a drink and it quenched my thirst - I saw your face and it stole my heart - I took a breath and it cleared my mind - I felt your touch and the warmth returned - I heard the song and then it was gone.
If you find yourself, maybe you can help me in my search..... Bye high Bye!
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