Ramblings of an American Madman

Ramblings of an American Madman - Just another Day in the life of a high seas pirate - running down the tall ships and plundering their booty, and living the life of a free man of the oceans, without a care, except I must have had a care or two in the past because I have a freakin' wooden leg and only one eye, and I keep getting this hook for a hand stuck in the keyboard of my computer - the Geek Squad dude calls me Black Beard the keyboard destroyer - such is the life of a pirate! Weather wasn't too promising early on but as the day progressed it became respectable, weather wise - for this part of the country and for this time of the year.
Started the day in all the old familiar ways - eyes open, copious amounts of liquid life (could be different things to different people, with me it is coffee, is this the longest run on words between parenthesis you have seen in awhile, me too), showered, do I really need to go through this step by step, I will you know, I will - work was busy but not as busy as yesterday, like you care, well I care - nice evening, a few errands and a trip to my favorite haunt, get it, Halloween tomorrow and today I went to my favorite haunt, clever boy - it's a book store by the way - I like all book stores but have my faves - do you read? - besides this I mean? - that's cool - not everything for everyone - a rule the world should recognize by the way - I am slowly adopting it - slowly.
The big news today was that the recession is over! The what is what? I thought it was just starting and now it is over? Let's ask the unemployed, uninsured, hungry and homeless if they are celebrating because the recession is over? Oh.
I will never go shopping with Big Larry again! He won $75 dollars on a scratch off ticket and wanted me to help him pick out a sweat shirt for winter, but in the mean time he wanted to try on every shirt in the store even though he had no intention of buying a shirt - and of course he wants to try on the shirts that come packed with cardboard and tissue paper and plastic and about 27 pins strategically placed all over - well, he forgot to take one pin out and it stuck him in the neck and by the time I hauled him out of the store he had threatened every clerk, shouted up and down the aisles about a pin conspiracy and had just about halfway written a law suit against the store for attempted murder by pin - I might go shopping with Big Larry someday, just not too soon.
Has anyone seen my car keys or my pipe wrench? They were here just a minute ago while I was making dinner. Oh. Time to go - Bye low Bye!